Relationship Management and Jealousy

One of the things that comes along with dating exceptionally attractive women is the fact that guys will be hitting on the girl you’re with constantly. I was listening to my favorite radio show, The Covino and Rich Show on Maxim Radio, Sirius 108 today and one of the topics of discussion was a “Friend In Need” email that they got regarding this very topic.

The guy has been dating a coworker for a while and when he started dating her she was a little chunky. Since he’s been dating her though, she’s lost 30lbs and is now a bombshell. Since she is newly hot, she is suddenly getting multiple times the amount of male attention that she is used to, and is eating it up. The guy worries that she is getting too flirty because she doesn’t realize that all of these guys have an agenda with her, or worse that she enjoys the attention and will leave him for the first male model who gives her the time of day.

The boys (Steve Covino and Rich Davis) are both very experienced in the area of dating hot women. They themselves are naturals (people who are naturally good at picking up women) whose resumes speak for themselves. Covino is currently dating Layla Kayleigh of America’s Best Dance Crew, Maxim Magazine, Attack of the Show, and World Poker Tour, and Rich Davis is dating Jenn Sterger, former playmate and FSU Cowgirl and currently a Gameday host for the Jets. They differed in opinion, with Covino saying that he needs to assert himself as a man and let the guys know that she’s his girl, while Rich said that he needs to just chill out and not get overly jealous because that will drive her away.

My opinion on the situation is very similar to Rich’s. Jealousy is such a turnoff to women. A little jealousy can be cute, but it is such a fine line to walk and it will ultimately get breached for the simple reason that as your woman gets a rise out of you she will continue to push that button and test you until you break.

Listen to me guys, it is in a hot woman’s nature that she will always be testing your worth as a man by putting you in these situations. Evolutionarily speaking, she needs to know that if your family is being hunted by a lion you will not crack under the pressure. Don’t resent her for this, it is something out of her control. You can talk a big game all you want, but she will continue to test you to make sure that you really are strong enough for her.

One of the paradoxes of dating that men have trouble understanding is that though women want you to be a powerful man who is in control, they will continuously try to strip you of your power/masculinity. The hotter the woman, the more experience she has with men of all types turning into wusses, and therefore the more she will test you. These tests come in the form of flipping out at you for no good reason, trying to make you jealous, bossing you around, etc. Do you think it’s a coincidence that women get the most emotional and testy right when they are most fertile? It’s not, they need to make sure that the father of their child is a strong man who will be able to take care of her offspring.

So what’s the solution? Simple, and I can’t emphasize this enough: BE NON-REACTIVE.

If a guy is being aggressive with your girl, the worst thing you can do is start a fight. This scares her and is a major turn-off. Instead, make her feel safe. Hold her close to your body, back turn the guy, body block him out of the conversation, ignore him completely.

If your girl is being flirty and trying to get a rise out of you, ignore it. Tool the guy by totally ignoring them. Alternatively, you can make him out to be the coolest guy in the world and talk about how cute they would be as a couple, but this is always tough to pull off. Her flirting with guys either means she is testing you to see if in fact she really has your balls in a vice grip, or she is actively searching for your replacement. If you think it’s the latter, you might need to make a power play of your own and go be a little flirty. 

The non-reactive technique is guaranteed to piss her off, 100%. So when she throws a fit about the fact that you let her flirt with other girls, how do you respond you may ask? Well if you guessed non-reactive, you would be correct. This attitude sub-communicates that you are used to your girlfriend getting a lot of attention, and that she can get as pissed off as she wants at you and you’re still not going anywhere. Here is a Tony Robbins clip that illustrates this principle perfectly. Interestingly, even though it has the short term of effect of angering her, it has the long term effect of building attraction and bringing her closer to you. As you refuse to acknowledge her tests, they will become less and less frequent.

Disclaimer: Know the difference between hot girl shit tests and crazy girl warning signs. You may have to run into a crazy girl to actually learn the difference (sharp objects are a telltale sign), but I have faith that you’ll make it out alive.


5 Responses to “Relationship Management and Jealousy”

  1. Tips Says:

    Excellent article – thank you.

  2. cremelloquarterpony Says:

    WOW. Good entry. I didn’t even realize I was “testing” my prospect until I read this!

  3. Adventures With Dating » Blog Archive » CremelloQuarterPony: The Tester Says:

    […] I stumbled across this post and it really hit home with me especially the paragraph on how women will test their men. […]

  4. Single Again: Pulling the Power Move Breakup « Hammertime Says:

    […] absolutely love to try to take your power as a man in a relationship. That’s why they constantly test you. The problem, of course, is that as much as they try to take your power, they don’t want you […]

  5. vyliss Says:

    Very insightful and true! I thought I just liked to cause drama.. but girls need to flip out once in a while.

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