I just got off the phone with my girlfriend and she is fucking pissed off! I am being accused of exchanging messages with a friend of hers on OKCupid as recently as September 24th. What? Bullshit! There were no such messages exchanged.
Back up a month and a half. I am in the Dominican Republic on the TSB Man Transformation Weekend. I have very scarce email access, but I do check it a couple of times over the course of the weekend. One of these times I have a notification from OKCupid in my inbox saying that I have a message. I log on just because I never ever get unsolicited messages from women, so I want to see what it’s about. I look at the message and her profile, and don’t respond.
Flash forward a few days. I’m talking to my girlfriend, and she mentions that a friend of hers messaged me the other day on OKCupid unknowingly. I say that’s funny, although the first thing that pops into my head is that she’s testing me to see if I’d cheat. But then I decided that even if that were true, it’s not the worst thing in the world for the girl to be a little scared of losing me early in a relationship.
Flash forward a few more days. Girlfriend gets pissed off at me for stuff, although she’s really projecting because she has a ton of shit going on in her life right now including a niece committing suicide and a broken ankle. Anyway, she says some harsh things to me including that she never wants to talk to me again and I take that as “Okay, well I still love this girl and want it to work out but the best way to do this is start sending out emails again to distract me and dial down the neediness factor, and it will also be useful as a jump off point in case it’s over for good.” So I log on, send some emails out, although I DO NOT respond to her friend, get some emails back, and work things out with her over the course of the weekend, cutting off communication with those women I emailed.
Tonight comes. She seems to be way too angry with me for something dumb, and it’s not her time of the month, so I’m thinking to myself somethings off and mention to her that she’s “projecting” her anger on me in some way and she’s not really angry about that thing. She then breaks down crying and tells me about how she knows about the emails I sent to her friend.
I tell her, no, I never emailed her friend, but I did send out these other emails when I thought we were done, etc. I believe in 100% honesty in my life with everyone, so it’s not that I was withholding the information, and I really didn’t think I was in the wrong, so I don’t feel bad about doing it. Anyway, we fight for an hour about me sending out these emails (reminds me of the whole Ross/Rachel “we were on a break” argument from Friends) and I come to realize that she’s really angry about me having emailed her friend (which I didn’t do). Her friend had forwarded her emails “from me” to her that were as recent as September 24th.
First of all, WTF! I never sent emails out to her friend, that’d be absolutely retarded to do knowing that she was the friend particularly when we’re happy and lovey dovey. Second of all, September 24th? I logged into my OKCupid account to check it out, and the last email that I sent out was on September 1. But she’s 100% convinced that I did, and now can’t trust me at all.
Alright so questions:
First of all, is the friend crazy and trying to set me up? That’s the only thing I can think of, unless someone’s been logging into my account to fuck with me or something, but I really don’t think that is the case. If it is, they deleted the emails that they sent out of my sent box, and if you’re trying to frame someone wouldn’t you want it to seem as much like I sent those emails as possible?
Second: How do I go about proving that I didn’t do it? I don’t have the emails yet so I don’t know if they are at all similar to my style, but lets just assume that it’s an old hookup or something so she kind of knows my style based on how I interacted with her. I love this girl, I really do. She’s my dream girl, and if she’s been presented with this information then she has every right to be pissed off at me, despite the fact that the information is bullshit. So if it’s in the style of my material, how do I prove my innocence?
She thinks that she’s caught me in a Shaggy “It Wasn’t Me” moment and can’t trust much of anything I’ve told her over the last few months. If I don’t prove my innocence then I’m pretty sure that she won’t get over this and I will be back on the market soon, which is going to be hard, but I know that the only way to get over someone is through the next person. My best theory to go on right now is that the friend is setting me up, but how do I prove that the friend is setting me up? She’s known the friend way longer than me.
Anyway, I’m giving myself until next Thursday 10/9 to get this resolved and if it isn’t I’m back in full tilt game mode which means day game approaches, night time online dating, and weekends hitting the bars. It just sucks because I feel like there really isn’t anything for me to learn from in this situation, it’s just a bullshit storm.
*********** It looks like things have been resolved!! ************