People love to knock online dating. The Dateable Dork (before her blog came down) likened it to dumpster diving. In conversations on the TSB Man Transformation Weekend, Lance (of Honey and Lance) and Mike Stout (of TSB magazine) agreed that the caliber of women that one will find online are sub-par. Lance even went as far as to say that the sex is substantially better off of cold approaches.
I couldn’t disagree more with this assessment of online dating. Granted, it’s my specialty, so I’m a little biased. And while I consider myself an online dating expert, I’m relatively average at night time co approach (although I’m pretty good at day game, mostly because I turn it into text game which is what makes online dating my specialty to begin with). Still, I think that despite my bias, I can still make a great case for why online dating is a great way to meet people regardless of what you’re looking for.
Those of you who have seen the relatively extensive list of traits that I look for in a mate know that I am veriy picky. So how am I going to find a smart, funny, gorgeous, bubbly woman with a positive attitude and high ambitions online? I mean, everyone knows that the only people who go online are overweight ditzes who used to be hot and never got a chance to develop their social skills, right? Wrong! In my experience, online dating is a cross-section of the world.
Look, there are definitely going to be some of those women who you look at when you meet them and you say to yourself, “Oh, so that’s why you’re on match.” But there are also a seemingly infinite number of beautiful, brilliant women who for varying reasons ended up on a dating website like Match.com, particularly in a big city like New York. Granted, these women get inundated with emails, so getting their attention can be tricky, but if you can make that work, you can definitely meet your dream girl. Hell, you can meet 10 of her.
I think that part of the negativity that Lance and Mike have toward women they meet online has to do with the generic nature of all of nearly all female profiles which result in the boys coming into the interactions with judgements as a result. Sure, a profile telling me that she “love[s] to laugh” annoys the hell out of me as much as anyone, but there’s really no use in wasting mental energy over it, because when it comes down to it, women don’t need much written in their profile to get attention. That’s the main reason that I don’t really read a woman’s profile thoroughly, but rather just scan it for key traits that I want to include in my email to her like spontaneous, intellectual, intelligent, smart, ambitious, adventurous, loves new experiences to name a few. No matter how good you are at online game, you’re probably not going to get much more than a 20% response rate (which adds up really quickly btw), so I focus on screening the personality of women afterward on instant messenger (saves me the time of meeting up with most of the lame ones, and gives me the opportunity to talk to 3+ at once while working my text game).
I’ll definitely talk more about online dating on this blog, particularly if I ever have to go back onto the market, but if anyone has any pressing questions for me, feel free to shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.