New Rule: Three Strikes and You’re Out

Since I’ve been single (and fully enjoying myself) I have noticed myself falling into the same traps that I use to build interest in women. You see, I am constantly meeting new people, whether it’s online, in the subway, that extra half an hour I take after work to browse H&M, bars on Friday’s and Saturdays, etc.

One thing that I have been noticing though, is that I tend to like to get together with women in my phone book in the order that they were entered. In other words, if I met someone a week ago and haven’t gotten together yet for whatever reason, I will call her first rather than call the girl I met yesterday while browsing the bookstore.

This is clearly stupid. Fresher leads should be taken advantage of first, right? Now granted, text game is my specialty so if I’ve gone a week since picking them up I’ve built up a tremendous amount of sexual tension to take advantage of, but when it comes down to it, girls who were too busy to schedule something before are going to be too busy to schedule something again.

The funny thing is, I find myself canceling dates with newer girls in order to see older ones if their schedule frees up. And looking back, it’s not like these older girls are necessarily of a higher caliber, but that is what I am tricking myself into thinking. You see, by being to busy to see me on the days I ask her out, the older number is building my desire more. It’s the same tactic that I use when I walk away from a set a few minutes after the hook point so that she’ll “run into me” later on in the night and it will be totally on without really running much game (something that I very much used to my advantage in the bathroom lay that I wrote about).

So new rule: If I ask you out three separate times and we don’t end up meeting, it is now your responsibility to find the time for me because I’m moving on.


Hammer: Annie, I’ve been dying to go ice skating, let’s go Tuesday at 7:30

Annie: Can’t, I have parent teacher conferences on Tuesday.

Hammer (two days later): Alright, no worries, well I have tickets to the All American Rejects concert on Friday, you should come.

Annie: Sorry Hammer, my school is having a holiday party that I’m chaparoning.

Hammer (two days later): You, me, matinee showing on Sunday of Avenue Q.

Annie: Sorry Hammer, my family is in town.

All of these are legitimate reasons, but this is her not making enough of an effort to offer me a new time. Now I know that a lot of women won’t do that, especially if I met them on the street for 5 minutes and hardly know anything about them (Annie was a girl who I’d talked to in a bar for an hour and made out with for another half hour), but from now on, I’m not contacting her again unless she contacts me first after the three attempts. That’s not to say that I’m not open to hanging out with her, I’m just done chasing. I’ve been wasting too much energy chasing women who aren’t even worth chasing, but no more. This will also motivate me to go out more on nights when I feel like a new number is the last thing I need.

Posted in dating. 4 Comments »

4 Responses to “New Rule: Three Strikes and You’re Out”

  1. Infinity Says:

    Hammer, I totally agree. I actually don’t even go that far. I give two tries and if they don’t make an attempt to reschedule then I don’t even bother.

    Passion and connection go hand-in-hand for me and if you don’t have to desire to keep up a connection then it’s not worth it to me and I won’t have to waste my time anymore.

    Besides, it’s not like any of us are without other options and are dependent on this one anyway. Fair to say that it can get annoying once in a while.

  2. Honey Says:

    Glad you’re having a blast, and I agree with your new plan 🙂

  3. moody.bitch Says:

    In all probability, the reason she’s not making enough of an effort to offer you a new time is because she’s not interested in seeing you at all. 😉

    When a woman really wants to see you, she’ll do more than just say “Sorry, can’t”. She’ll offer up an alternative day when she knows she IS available, because she doesn’t want to take the chance that you’ll think she’s not interested and move onto someone else.

    So, it’s unlikely that someone who has only spent an hour and a half with you[1], and isn’t interested in spending any *more* time with you, would actually feel any sense of “responsibility” to find the time to see you after having turned you down three times in a row already.

    But, humans being the fickle creatures that they are, once she realizes you’ve lost interest in the pursuit, she might just suddenly perk up and come sniffing around.

    [1] In a bar? Making out? Perhaps she had a little too much to drink and regrets getting that carried away with you. What seems like a good idea at night can leave you with an icky feeling when the sun comes up.

  4. Hammer Says:

    I would say that is partially true, but not entirely. If that was entirely true, then I wouldn’t be able to meet up with them in the future ever, which is something that I have done many times. Sometimes it’s been by just asking them until they were available, other times it was as a result of cutting them off and having them come to me, but it has definitely been done before.

    Whatever the case, the point of the post is that I realized that I was becoming more interested in these women because of the fact that they were blowing me off, and if it’s happening to me I know it’s happening to other guys.

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