Rian Update – Open Relationships

Despite my best attempts at getting her to hate me and stay out of my life, Rian has pushed her way back in. This is going to be an interesting phase of the relationship, because this time she is coming back with the caveat of our relationship staying open. Have any of you been in open relationships? It seems that Doc Holliday and Entropy (who both have game far superior to my own) have made it work pretty well, so I know it’s doable. A couple weeks ago, maybe the week after the Super Bowl, I thought that we were done for good. I had scheduled a one on one with El Topo to really take my SNL game to the next level: travel booked, down payment paid. Rian contacts me under the pretense of “I just wanted to see how you’re doing.” She was going through a family emergency and wanted me to comfort her. I obviously still care about her and can’t even pretend to be over her, so I told her that I would, but since I’m always honest I had to tell her about the one on one. I told her that while I obviously still care about her, and would be more than willing to comfort her, I can’t commit to her exclusively because I am taking this bootcamp and there’s no turning back. I told her that I am going to need at least 6 months after the bootcamp to practice, so she can only have me four nights a week. Her initial reaction was to hyperventilate and call me an asshole, but slowly over time as I cut her off and refused to talk to her she has warmed up to the idea and has become rather intrigued with game and male-female dynamics in general. So there is now a possibility of her entering into an open relationship with me. She might even be driving me to the airport on Thursday morning. I don’t know how this will play out, if she’ll be able to handle it. Hell, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle her sleeping with other guys. I guess I’m kind of hoping that I’ll sleep with other women and she won’t sleep around. This is new territory for both of us. I have been in harems and multiple fuck buddy relationships before, but primary girlfriend who I’m in love with and same night lays on the side is new ground. I guess we’ll see how it develops.

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Posted in dating. 3 Comments »

3 Responses to “Rian Update – Open Relationships”

  1. Infinity Says:

    Let me just say, good luck sir. Open relationships are tough but very possible. El Topo’s 1:1 will be good for you regardless and you are right about Entropy and Doc. Those guys handle their relationships VERY well.

    And well, if it’s something you think you must do then you better be ready for the WHOLE thing, including Rian sleeping with other guys.

    There are two ways you can go about it. You can either do the, “don’t ask, don’t tell,” or you can do the “tell all.” As hard as it may be, I would prefer the latter. I think Entropy would agree with me there.

    But all in all, have fun, man. It’s possible to create a loving relationship though all of what you are doing. Trial and error will get you there.

  2. Hammer Says:

    Yea it will be interesting man. I think on his blog just yesterday Entropy mentioned something about his relationship being pretty much don’t ask don’t tell, but I am also pretty sure that his girlfriend isn’t hooking up with other guys, so it’s more for her sake. I’ve read before that Doc’s girlfriend only hooks up with other girls, which is something I would not have a problem with, although I think Rian is mostly past her lesbian phase.

    I actually wouldn’t be surprised if Rian doesn’t sleep with other guys very much. She’s a good girl and it would be very difficult for a guy to seduce her same night, and we’re still going to be spending 3-4 nights a week together so she’s probably not going to be going on too many 3rd dates. That said, you’re totally right that I need to be ready for that.

    It’s interesting because while I do get feelings of jealousy, I have become good at not expressing it, and since our relationship has been so volatile (including a stint of her getting back with an ex and me sleeping around from roughly halloween to thanksgiving), I have sort of grown numb to those feelings of jealousy with her.

  3. Honey Says:

    What if she dates other people and finds someone she prefers to you who is willing to commit and breaks up with you? You should be ready for that, too.


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