Soapbox Issue: Slut vs. Hedonist and Sexual Liborator Game

This is a little bit of a soapbox issue for me because of some of the recent comments that have been made on my why I don’t date virgins post. It’s also important because it is a pillar of my game, particularly my SNL game.

When it comes to promiscuity in women, there are two types, and it’s important to understand the distinction. The first type is the common slut that people assume any woman who is promiscuous is. The second is the hedonist. While on the surface, their actions may be extremely similar, in fact they are totally different because of the intent behind the actions.

The common slut is incredibly insecure. In this way, she’s actually very similar to the 22+ year old virgin. This is why you hear a lot of stories about women who marry men as virgins and end up turning into cheating sluts after they get a taste of dick (one of the primary reasons that I mention in my virgins post as to why I want a girl to have some experience before she commits). The common slut may be a really good lay, but more often than not she’s actually really terrible in bed despite her overwhelming amount of experience. She isn’t as emotionally invested in the process and just doesn’t enjoy herself as much. These are the people who end up in sex addict groups or end up on the pole (although interestingly, strippers are usually very inexperienced sexually because they are so disgusted with men). These are the girls to avoid.

The hedonist, on the other hand, is totally different. The hedonist is completely comfortable with her femininity and her sexuality. She is independent and doesn’t care what other people think. This is why when she is attracted to someone, she is willing to act on it without feeling guilty. This is the type of woman that you want to get involved with in a long term situation. When you are hooking up with her, you feel connected to her and can tell that she is really enjoying every second of what she’s doing. When she’s giving you head she is loving every second of it, as if she has some kind of illness and your dick is the antidote. I haven’t met her, but I’d imagine that TBK is a great example of this type of woman, although she seems like someone who’s had to fight really hard throughout her life to get from slut to hedonist.

How This Relates to My Game: As I mentioned, I draw this distinction as a major part of my game. I’m going to give you a very high level understanding of what I do and why. Maybe sometime I’ll be more specific about what I say and do to accomplish these things, but for now it’s just going to be an overview.

A wise man once said, “we teach people how to treat us.” This is what sexual framing is all about. Your job is to frame her as the hedonist, not the slut. In the same way as you are sweet around your mother and an asshole around your enemies, women act differently around different guys, so why not be one of the guys that she acts like a hedonist around? This is why we talk about being non-judgmental and independent. I always always always tell women how attractive it is for a woman to know what she wants and go after it. They know what’s up when I’m saying that.

My whole game is centered around being her sexual liberator. Women, believe it or not, are extremely sexually frustrated. This is something that guys don’t understand. A woman will have 5 or 6 orbiters (a guy who really wants to be with her but she just sees as a friend) drooling over her and still bitch to her friends about not getting laid for months on end. So when I come along, I am the guy who makes it okay for her to let go of her insecurities and indulge in her desires and fantasies. For that night, she’s not a good girl, she’s not a slut, she is a WOMAN. A woman in touch with her desires and in control of her actions. For that night, or several nights, or more if we get involved in a relationship, we’re engaging in the most natural, honest, fun experience that two people can engage in. That’s why I think it’s funny when people on this blog try to criticize me or tell me that I’m dating low quality women, when in fact it’s the total opposite. Those are people who just don’t get it.

In general, my game is designed to pick up highly independent, intellectual and secure women. A byproduct of that is that I also tend to do really well with supersluts (case in point, my vegas LR) because if a girl never says “no” to me, I’ll have my dick in her mouth in 15 minutes or less. But another byproduct of this game is that I do really poorly with insecure women who most average guys might do really well with. Whereas the typical guy will be giving her validation by buying her drinks and complimenting her all night until she goes home with him, I tend to freak her out early by teasing or pushing too hard sexually. That’s totally fine with me though, because this is how I screen for my type, and a consequence of it is that I do better with my type. In the words of Brad P, “blow me out or blow me.”

P.S. I’m going to Austin this weekend to hang out with El Topo. Should be superfuntime.

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Posted in dating, sex. 4 Comments »

4 Responses to “Soapbox Issue: Slut vs. Hedonist and Sexual Liborator Game”

  1. Honey Says:

    Great post! You don’t say it explicitly, but I think the fact that you *are* all the things that you’re going after (independent, intellectual, secure) is one of the reasons you do so well with that type of woman.

    Though framing is important, too, that’s why I liked the BF. We were both in our mid-twenties, living by ourselves, pursuing terminal degrees in intellectually demanding fields, and willing to write off “relationships” that weren’t right for us (I’d been basically single for 4 years, he’d just ended a 4 relationship that he’d assumed would leave to marriage). POW! Sex together on the first date.

    We’ve done golden showers, gone to live sex shows in Amsterdam, I’ve written explicit fictional stories, we’ve both written explicit letters detailing future fantasies…it’s pretty awesome stuff!

  2. Benedict M. Smith Says:

    this is similar to my game, i frame it as “i do as i feel led” not that i’m impulsive…framing it as “you’re following your instincts” or “being who and what you want to be, rather than thinking about what you want etc”….sounds like we have similar game in some regards.

  3. GoneSavage Says:

    “But another byproduct of this game is that I do really poorly with insecure women who most average guys might do really well with. Whereas the typical guy will be giving her validation by buying her drinks and complimenting her all night until she goes home with him, I tend to freak her out early by teasing or pushing too hard sexually.”

    Absolutely. The guy you described is misleading the insecure girl whether he knows it or not. He is on Path 2 (seeking casual sex) and may not know his actions are incongruent. She is likely on Path 1 (seeking more than casual sex, perhaps a relationship) and does not know her actions are incongruent.

    When you come along consciously and deliberately stating that you are on Path 2, you will attract more intelligent, sexually liberated, and HSE girls.

    Your article also reminded me of this bit by Jim Goad:

    A slut, as commonly understood, is a girl who can wantonly have sex without attaching meaning to it. Sluts are thought to be like males in this respect. But except for the promiscuity part, all the sluts I’ve known before – and it’d take a calculator to tally them – embody the near-opposite of the stereotype. They attach more nonsexual importance to sex than the most romantic-minded ‘nice’ girl could ever conjure. I’ve known a few nice girls who can have sex simply for pleasure, but the sluts never seem to have sex for sex’s sake alone.

    Every time they stick a big pink dick in their mouth, it’s almost as if they’re screaming PLEASE LOVE ME! into a microphone. Whatever it was that warped them – daddy’s cock, mommy’s backhand, or just a choking cloud of lovelessness and abandonment – left them with a bottomless hole in their heart and the unshakable notion that all they can offer to others is a pair of spread legs. They seek to fill one hole by constantly filling the other.

    And over time, both holes get bigger.”

  4. Hammer Says:

    Dude Savage, thanks for stopping by man. It was cool meeting you in Austin last weekend. Your lair talk on Friday was really quite amazing. I imagine that a lot of it might have gone over some guys heads, but I know that if I had heard that talk really early in my journey, it would have tremendously accelerated my success.

    Savage is going to be giving this same talk at the Under 21 Convention, if you guys can make it, I suggest you do.


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