FU Report – Long Weekend in Austin (Part 1)

Last weekend I was in Austin hanging out with El Topo. It was a lot of fun and WOW is the house that he’s in ridiculous. The guy who owns it is an interesting and bizarre story on his own, but it’s not really my place to discuss it. Anyway, this Fuck Up Report is about two almost sure lays that I lost on the same day. Needless to say, my end game logistics still need quite a lot of work.

My flight is out of Newark at 6:55am on Friday. I wake up at about 4:15 and get ready. I’m already packed, so I get ready as quickly as possible and leave. I waited for the subway for about 15 minutes, and as a result I barely make the NJTransit train by maybe a minute or two (if it had left on time I would have missed it). Had I missed that train, I would not have made my flight.

Anyway, I get to the airport, barely get my bag checked in time, and by the time I get to the gate the whole plane has boarded, but it’s not like the closed the gate behind me or anything so I was alright. The plane is one of the planes with three seats on each side of the  aisle, and it’s not full so when I get to my seat, it’s me on the window and a cute blondie on the aisle.

As I sit down I open her with a “Hello.” Guys, this is a really important point about any day game situation. When I sit down and say hello right out of the gate, it is totally normal that I have just started a conversation with the person sitting next to me. If I wait and build up the courage while she sits there reading a magazine, it becomes far more awkward going forward. Anyway, things are going alright, we talk for a while and it’s just not going where I want it to go, plus  it sounds like she doesn’t have very good logistics in Austin, not to mention she’s not old enough to go to bars.

So I write it off as a maybe I’ll take her number and try to invite her over the house with some friends and close someone through more of a social circle avenue, but in the meantime I read Sinn’s Lay Reports Book on my kindle and then go to sleep for a bit. When I wake up, and this becomes important later, I decide I should set my watch to Austin time. I know that my flight is scheduled to land around 10 but the captain said it would be maybe a half hour early, so I set my watch two hours behind (WRONG!) so that I can monitor the time in case I do turn things around with this girl and want to go for the Mile High Lay. She sleeping though, and I look across the aisle and see this cute hipster type of girl with headphones on sitting on the window by herself.

I get up, go to the bathroom, and come back and sit next to HBWorldTraveler. She’s really hot but definitely dressed pretty grimily in that hipster kind of way, but needless to say I would, as would any of you. She notices me sit there and shifts her body toward me and takes off her headphones. I open her with a hello, I was kind of bored and couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d come and talk to you. She’s all excited that she now has someone to talk to, and so we’re off to the races.

She asks me where I’m flying from, which to me is a very weird question but it turns out the reason she asked is because she had just spent two months in India on her own. This conversation is super easy because I can just sit there and let her talk and talk and talk. I do control the conversation as necessary and bring out specific things that I want to talk about. I also take this opportunity to frame her as someone who is independent, adventurous, and lives for new exciting experiences (see: the type of person who would have sex in a bathroom on an airplane with a  complete stranger).

After I’ve framed her the way I want to, I decide that it is now time to move into deeper comfort because I need to build up her identity and sexuality in a way that will empower her, while at the same time build that emotional connection that it’s going to take to get her to comply later on. I talk about the standard deep comfort stuff about some of the crazy shit that has happened in my life (those of you who know me know what I’m talking about), and how it has changed me and made me become much more accepting (see: non-judgmental) and empowered in my life.

I mix in a bunch of cold reads and get her to really open up. Things are going amazingly. She asks me about my tattoo, I ask her if she has any, she has one on her upper back right over her spine. I’m like, wow, that must have really hurt, and she sort of doesn’t give me an emphatic yes, so I tell her that I see what’s going on, that she obviously really liked it and it totally got her turned on. I called her a masochist, she blushes hard and laughs, it’s fucking on my friends!

Time check, my watch says it’s about 8am. I decide that it’s time to start transitioning into a let’s do something crazy mood so that I can pull her within the next half hour or so. I go into some stuff, things are going well, and I’m thinking in my head that in about 5 minutes I’ll be ready to get her to come with me. Then out of nowhere, the fasten seatbelt sign comes on, and we’ve begun our initial descent. I found out later that Austin is only ONE hour behind New York and thus me not having the time I thought I had. Flight attendants all over the aisles, people going to the bathroom while they still can, and I’m mad at myself on the inside.

About 5 minutes later, I tell her that I need to tell her something. Then in my phone sex voice, I whisper into her ear that when I came over to talk to her, it was because I thought she was really sexy and I figured that if things went well it might be fun to join the mile high club together. She blushes hard, and then thanks me and tells me that was really sweet and she’s really flattered. Without coming out and saying it, she basically says that she would have been down. FUCK ME!

Anyway, I get the number when we land, and I tell her we’ll talk later and maybe hang out that night. Later on she finds me at baggage claim and we talk for a while while we’re waiting for our rides since our plane was early. She introduces me to her family and tells me to call her later.

Keep in mind, all of this is before 10am Austin time. Stay tuned for Part 2 of this FU report, including blowing another lay later in the night with an even hotter girl.

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