I don’t really do much day game, in fact I can count my non-night game approaches this summer on one hand, and there are a lot of reasons for this. The first and most important is that I don’t have the patience or time for it. Even in NYC, women who are hot enough for me to justify approaching are few and far between, so I can walk around for literally 2-3 hours and not run into any women of that caliber. Then again, there are other times where I’ll be in a hurry to get somewhere and I’ll see five women who I should approach but just don’t really have time to. The second reason I haven’t been doing day game is that I have had a pretty regular stream of quality women that I’ve been meeting lately at night and wouldn’t have the time to go out with the women were it to go successfully. Then of course there’s the whole having the balls to do it; it takes time to psych yourself into the headspace (or at least it does for me) and there are definitely times where I see someone I want to talk to and I just take too long to decide to make the move.
It’s really hypocritical of me to not be doing day game. I’ve been sort of semi-instructing my friend on his journey lately (not that I’m really all that qualified to do so), and a big part of this has been getting his ass fired up to approach, particularly during the day since it’s more conducive to what he likes and wants. The thing is though, he’s been doing this for months, and yet he’s not getting results. He’s not really getting dates, and one of his first approaches in a pizza shop led to a lay but it was clearly a fluke with a girl who just wanted it because he hasn’t had a day game lay since.
I went on a “day game” date last night, although I put it in quotes because even though it was a day game style street approach, it was at 9 PM last Friday and was decidedly dark outside at the time, and it reminded me how fucking easy day game is. When I approached her, Kiwi and I were walking around my neighborhood totally smashed after coming from a free open bar. We had been sort of teasing each other about our game, i.e. he was teasing me about my game and I was laughing at him because my results speak for themselves, when I saw him approach and get blown out quickly. So I now had material to knock him on, which I proceeded to do for a block and a half, at which point I told him that I was going to show him how it was done and I ran up and approached this girl who was about a block ahead of us.
A couple of interesting things about this particular approach:
1) I scared the shit out of her, and I think it worked to my advantage. When I approached, I walked up ahead of her to check out her face for a second, then dipped behind her for a moment before touching her arm and opening. She had headphones on so she didn’t see or hear me coming and was startled, but I used very passive body language backing off a full five feet and apologizing for startling her (note: for startling her, not for approaching her or interrupting her), and we started talking. I think scaring her helped me though, possibly by crossing signals with attraction switches and making me seem hotter.
2) She is at the very least three years older than me, and it hasn’t come up at all. Usually women her age will qualify me on my age immediately, since they don’t like dating guys younger than them, and I look about 6 years younger than I actually am (23). So since it hasn’t come up, even on our three hour date, I think she’s probably concerned that her being as old as she is will disqualify her from me. That means that my frame is good, and she’s interpreting me as “the chooser.”
3) She was totally dressed down when I approached, so I didn’t realize how fucking hot she was! When I saw her from behind, I could tell she was definitely in the range, but for some reason I thought she had a little junk in the trunk (maybe it was the loose t-shirt covering her ass) and I knew that her face was already showing her age, so after getting her number, she wasn’t exactly that high on my priority list. But when last night opened up, she got her shot, and wow was I wrong about her body. She had just run a half marathon yesterday, and the fact that she was a runner definitely showed. Tight little body (spinner!!), totally flat stomach (with a belly button piercing), nice rounded athletic ass, basically totally perfect fuck buddy material. It’s always nice to find a sleeper hottie.
4) She thanked me for approaching her as we said goodbye. This further confirms my hypothesis that women like to be approached by guys they’re interested in having sex with. It’s nice to have that positive reinforcement, especially since it’s such a socially awkward thing to do. I’ve pretty much always had success with day game, but that doesn’t mean there still aren’t going to be personal obstacles to overcome in order to man up. I fully believe that we are evolutionarily hard coded with approach anxiety to prevent approaching the wrong women (which would lead to being killed by an alpha of the tribe, a phenomenon that still occurs in many cousin species), and it always amazes me the mental gymnastics that my mind can do despite such blatant evidence in my personal experience to the contrary.
Alright well I wanted to touch on a few things that I notice about what I do differently from my buddy that I think a lot of guys who are having trouble doing day game might be doing wrong. The first thing is that he’s not being genuine with women. He’s using no inflection when he complements and making it seem like he does this all the time (which he does), but the problem is that he’s not making them feel special. When I go direct on the street, I have this very coy attitude and come across non-threatening. My friend isn’t getting the results that he wants, and I keep telling him that he needs to do a better job of being genuine, but he refuses saying opening is not his problem because he’s getting into conversations with women. Yet I’ve seen him in conversations with women, and the dynamic isn’t right from the beginning. He’ll figure it out eventually, but for now, you guys can learn from his mistake.
The next BIG mistake he’s making is that he’s not stopping women. I don’t really understand why he doesn’t do this one, but it makes such a difference. Even when you’re going in the same direction as a woman, stop her to talk. You’re important, and it builds compliance. As you open, stop and wait for her to stop. Then talk to her, and if after a few minutes you want to walk together, do that on your terms.
The last mistake he’s making is that he’s not having interesting conversations. Everything is logistics, where she’s going, what she does, etc. There’s no emotion, nothing that is going to hook her. It comes down to being interesting and likeability. He’s not taking a genuine interest in these women and as a result he’s not receiving a genuine interest from them. So he’s getting numbers, but they’re all flakes. Flakes happen a lot in night game, and no matter how good you are you’re still going to have at least a 25-50% flake ratio there, but during the day they really shouldn’t happen very much.
Anyway, just to round out the story, I didn’t lay the girl on the date last night, but we made out quite a bit and if there’s a next time, I think that it’ll happen with near certainty.