The WAR On FRUMPINESS

Consider this post a declaration of war. I am initiating the War on Frumpiness. I’m not going to do, what everyone thinks I’m going to do… All I want to know is, who’s coming with me?

Women’s fashion has been going downhill for a while. I think the Olsen twins might have started this trend, but it has gotten way out of hand. The pregnant shirts, the Ugg boots, the Crocs, the leggings, the Chinese slippers, etc. It needs to stop!

I hate being in a bar and seeing a girl in a shirt that fits loosely around her stomach and not being sure whether she’s chubbo or not. This is important information women. You’re basically lying to me with your appearance if you don’t give me that information. Yea I’m superficial, but I have that right. But do you really want to sleep with me and then not get called again because I didn’t realize until I was fucking you that you were fat? You can avoid this by not hiding that shit. You’ll be weeding out superficial pricks like myself!

And the leggings! Come on. Fucking Lindsey Lohan and her hippie trendsetting. Yea it’s cold, I get it, but you’re supposed to deal with that discomfort because you get an insane amount of advantages as a result. I hate leggings for a couple of reasons. First of all, they’re an extra layer to get off, so rather than just being able to lift up the skirt and pull the panties to the side, I have to pull those things down and off. Second, they hide a girl’s legs and as a result she’s less likely to shave, which is so gross when you do make it into the funk shop with her. Third, they’re ugly! I want to see your sexy feminine legs and touch your soft skin, not this black spandex shit that you call fashionable.

Then we come to the footwear. Uggs, Crocs, sandals, knee high boots, get the fuck out. Am I the only guy who still finds a woman’s calves and ankles attractive? What dudes are putting up with this shit? When you are dressed to impress, why go and ruin it with these frumpy shoes? Put on heels. I don’t care if they’re uncomfortable, I know plenty of women who exclusively wear heels (mostly because they’re short) and if they can deal with it, you can too. I’m not wearing new balance sneakers everywhere I go, you shouldn’t be wearing the female equivalent.

Lastly, fuck all of you guys for putting up with this shit from women. I am drawing the line in the sand right now. If a woman is wearing any of the above mentioned items of clothing to a night club or bar on a night out, I am not bothering (I’ll forgive it for an exceptionally beautiful woman if it’s during the day).

And maybe you ladies are saying, “Oh whatever, look at this egomaniac, I don’t care if he hits on me.” Well you should care, because I am a very attractive man. Interesting, brilliant, energetic, hilarious, great dancer, and I will curl those toes like no one ever has.

To the guys, who’s coming with me? Support me in the War on Frumpiness!

I’ll leave you with this video to inspire the ladies to dress well:

Sexy vs Plain