A couple of things have happened in my life lately that have motivated me to write this article:
First, I’ve been spending a retarded amount of time gaming over the last few months and now would like to reallocate some of that time toward some business initiatives that I’ve recently gotten involved in, but the only way to really keep myself sexually satisfied with a reduced allocation of time toward dating is a relationship. This has gotten me thinking a lot about what I’m looking for in a woman.
Second, I introduced a friend of mine to game and he’s really committed himself to getting good (had his first lay in like 6 months last weekend!) and dating around to figure out what he likes so he can tailor his game appropriately. Having been an AFC his whole life, relationships have sort of just come to him so he’s never really explored what interests him, a problem that all but maybe the top 10% of men have.
Third, I’ve been talking to this girl who so far has a lot of relationship potential (call her Liz) and while I’m not sure things will work with her, it’s gotten me warmed up to the idea of getting involved to that level with someone again.
My telling people that I’ve decided that I’m going to find a girlfriend has been met with a lot of skepticism among friends and family. That’s fine, a lot of them don’t know me that well, particularly with regards to my dating life. I keep getting the old “it’s not that simple to just find someone” and the “what’s to say that when you find the perfect girl, she’ll even like you.”
Which brings me to the topic at hand: are you the man that your type of woman is looking for? You see, women have negative views of game because they think it’s manipulative and dishonest, and that makes total sense because a lot of men are all looking for the magic bullet to essentially lie and manipulate women into their beds. But game is not about a magic bullet. Game is about changing yourself. Improving yourself. We practice structure at the beginning to develop an unconscious competence over time that makes us into better conversationalists and more attractive men. Men who will in fact get the girl who they want. My personality is more authentic and true to myself than ever before in my life. I make a lot of people laugh, I piss a lot of people off, but no matter what, I feel very secure in the fact that everything I say is the real me and not me trying to pretend to be someone that another person might like. And yes, my type, the type of woman that drives me wild, feels the same way about me.
I guess when I first got into my relationship with Rian about this time last year was when this idea first really resonated with me. It was then that I really started to identify as the guy who my type likes. There have been a few other occasions of this, including an incident where I was with my buddy RajNYC and I had to actively ignore the girl he’d brought with him so as not to steal her from him (he ended up getting laid that night by the way, I warned him not to bring girls who are my type around me again because next time I’ll steal her).
Bottom line is, when a girl is my type; that super sassy intellectual with a dorky streak and a sense of adventure as well as healthy open minded views toward sex; it is game over. I am the guy that she’s probably never met before but will instantly fall hard for. I’ve spent nearly two years developing my personality and sense of self to the point where I can make that proclamation, but really feel like I’m now that guy. Maybe Liz is my type, but if she’s not, I’ll work my ass off to find the next girl who is. I’m going to do it without online game for a while and see how it goes (Liz is a Match.com girl, the last one still in my phone from my last round of emails a few weeks ago). I know that I won’t cover as much ground that way, but my subscription just expired on match and I want to prove myself that I can find a girlfriend without it using day game and night game if for no other reason than to say I did.