As you guys know, I rarely write lay reports, and when I do it’s because there’s something novel or particularly interesting to report. This LR is does have some interesting characteristics, but it’s also super relevant to the two things I’ve been working on lately: hooking hard and endgame logistics.
Alright so last night started out kind of swoot (the opposite of sweet). I was supposed to hang out with a girl that night but it ended up not happening. I was looking forward to a nice chill night ending in sex, and was pretty fucking tired, so needless to say I wasn’t in state. I meet up with my buddy Hotshot and we head over to Butterfield 8 for an open bar. I get a couple of drinks in me, but I’m still feeling like going home and sleeping.
Hotshot is meeting up with a bunch of friends, so I tag along and we end up at some bar I don’t know the name of in east midtown. I’m standing there sort of chilling but I’m definitely seeing some beautiful women there and it’s getting me a little more excited. I see a girl in particular who seems like my steez talking to one of Hotshot’s/my friend and am starting to concoct convenient ways to be introduced. A couple minutes later she comes over to Hotshot and they do in fact know each other. He introduces us to this girl, who we’ll call Holly because I have a feeling she’ll be coming up some more.
Before I go any further, let me just say that this girl was my type. and as I’ve said before, if a girl is my type, it’s just fucking on and there’s nothing that can stop it. From the handshake I know it’s on. She leaves her hand in mine for a least five seconds, and I basically see this as an invitation to game her. We bullshit a little bit about her real name, I’m giving her my aggressive kino with body rocking, and all is right with the world. The bar we’re in has another room behind the main upstairs bar, which on first glance looks like a mirror, and the second I mention it she takes the initiative on conducting an “investigation.”
As we’re about to cross the door jam, I stop and make a big scene about how I’m afraid I’m going to bump my face into the mirror, so we sort of hold hands and do it together. So now it’s hotshot and I talking to Holly, although Hotshot realizes that it’s mostly just me gaming her and excuses himself away. Unfortunately though, as he’s doing this her roommate comes over, and I stand there and let the interrupt happen. Holly introduces us, but then they proceed to chat leaving me there standing alone like a doofus.
Rather than waiting for the conversation to come back to me like a tool, I decide to open another set right next to us. The objective was fully to create a jealousy plot line with Holly. I tell the girl that I’m really close to temporarily stealing her hat. This set doesn’t open very well but I plow because I want it to look like it hooked to everyone looking on, and specifically Holly. A couple minutes later I eject and it looks like Holly and her roommate have disappeared back to the other side of the bar.
I go back to find Hotshot, and as our conversation starts I tell him that we’re going to position ourselves strategically so I can reopen Holly in a little while. She’s talking to two people, an older french dude and a girl. I assume that this is a non issue even though she’s being very flirty because I thought the guy and the girl were together, but it turns out they were siblings. Anyway, I see an opening and pretend to run into her with a “Hey!” and a hug.
She introduces me to the two frenchies and then I use some body language to cut her off from the group a bit, picking up our conversation right where we left off (her major in school). I find out that the french dude and the girl are siblings, and realize I need to separate this now because they work together and she’s flirting with him. She asks me about my tattoo and I tell them both that it’s kind of personal and I don’t know them well enough to tell them about it. Frenchie decides to get himself and Holly beers, big mistake dumbass!
I talk to Holly for a bit, then sit down on a couch mid sentence right near where we are standing. At first she stays standing talking to me, but soon sits on the armrest because I’m leaning back on the couch and it’s hard for her to hear. As she sits on the armrest, I scoot over giving her room to sit and she complies. I go straight into my tattoo story and how it’s related to the health stuff that’s happened into my life. I cold read her telling her that I can tell that she has had an experience in her life that made her grow up really fast. She starts opening up about her dad and stuff, and it’s definitely on.
Frenchie comes back with her beer, she thanks him for it and turns back to talk to me. I tell her about how going through my health stuff it’s really changed me not so much internally but definitely in how I present myself to the world. She’s qualifying herself to me hard, particularly sexually, and telling me how much different I am from most guys. Hotshot says he’s leaving, and Holly offers to come with us to wherever we’re going next. I tell her that Hotshot’s going home and I’m going to stick here, but as I say it I realize that she was trying to make logistics happen, so I go for the pull. It doesn’t happen that second, but a couple of minutes later we’re walking out of the venue.
I say we should go to her house, but even though it’s close it’s really not an option because she has people staying there. I tell her that I live at home but we can go there in a pinch. We talk for a bit and I decide I’m going to grab us a cab and lead. I tell the driver where I live, and she gets a little weirded out by how far uptown it is, and considers just getting out, but I sort of ignore this and distract her with conversation. She has this idea in her head that I am this huge player or something, and I’m trying to essentially deflect without denying the comments, but assure her that she’s particularly awesome and totally my type, which is true.
The plan is to go back to my house and smoke with my sister, but she’s not going to be home yet, so I decide we’re going to go up to the roof. I ask the doorman to turn off the alarm, and he’s hesitant but she plays along and begs him playfully saying how badly she wants to see the stars. I knew that he would let us up, he’s the coolest doorman we have and was just busting my balls.
I haven’t made out with Holly yet, so when the elevator door closes I shove her against the wall and start making out. We get onto the roof and take a look at the view for a bit, then decide to climb up a ladder to “the castle” as we call it which is where my sister loves to smoke more than anywhere else. The whole time she’s giving me shit about being this crazy player, and I keep thinking I might lose the lay. Make out some more, start trying to pull off her shirt. I undo her bra and am about to pull it off, but I start getting some resistance. More anti-player defense. She redoes her bra and pulls her shirt back down.
A couple minutes later I start escalating again, but this time she sort of takes it to the next level by grabbing my cock through my pants so I decide that I’m totally okay getting her naked. Shirt off, bra off, pants unbuttoned. She apologizes for her hairy pussy because she is between waxes and will be getting waxed next week. She wouldn’t let me go down on her because of it, which was fucking lame, but whatever, it’s all good. I unbutton my pants and let her take my cock out, and as she does she gets on her knees like a good girl would and starts sucking it, which soon turns into me fucking her face.
Soon we start fucking. I pick her up and am fucking her mid air on a rooftop for a bit, but decide to change it up because I can’t hold that position forever. She gets freaked out that she’s naked on a rooftop and it seems like she’s about to go home. I get a lot more shit for being a huge player with really smooth game (note to self, tone down the smoothness a little), she even calls it game! I’m so ready for her to ask me if I’ve seen the VH1 show and stuff. Anyway, we continue talking as she gets dressed again, and eventually invites herself back to my room.
I call the doorman and tell him to set the alarm again, and soon we get on the elevator back to my floor. This is where it becomes really important that I had hooked her that hard… As we get out of the elevator, I see my mom standing there in the doorway! No idea what the fuck she’s going up, but I guess in hindsight it wasn’t as late as I though it was, we had left the bar around 1:30 which is really early in New York. I play it like it’s no big deal and just escort her straight back toward my room without saying anything. I show her in, then close a bunch of doors so that the noise won’t carry. Come back into my room and start taking off my clothes as if I’m getting ready for bed all while having just a conversation about whatever. I’m down to my boxer briefs and she tells me that I’m fucking gorgeous, which is always nice to hear. I make out with her a bit, then tell her to strip for me. She agrees, but won’t let me take pictures :(.
From there it was just over. She got on top and made herself cum on my dick, then we fucked for a little bit longer before I came in her mouth. She swallowed it all like a good girl should. We lay down, have some pillow talk, more player shit, I tell her that I actually really like her and want her to sleep over, eventually she agrees. We spoon all night, get up and have sex again in the morning. I do the deep spot on her and she says it was amazing and asks me what I did because she’d never had an orgasm like that before. I make breakfast, and she leaves around 11:30 because she has to go to work. We make plans for hanging out later, but she may need to go to Westchester tonight or something, so we’ll have to see how that plays out.
Before we break, let’s just quickly go over the logistical issues that had to be overcame: She was out with a ton of friends, she had people staying over at her house, she was opposed to going that far uptown, she was opposed to going to my mom’s house, she was freaked out about having sex on a roof, my mom was standing there as I brought her home, and of course the whole time she th ought I was a huge player (which I guess I can’t blame her for…). While I handled my logistics as best as I could, when it came down to it, it was all about hooking and compliance.