Not Getting the Results You Want?

I read an article recently about people “opting out” (i.e.. giving up) of dating on Simone Grant’s blog, and it really made me kind of think about myself and how I just really can’t identify with the experience of ever having a desire to give up on anything, let alone something as important as one’s love life. I see people do it all the time, but it’s just something that I don’t understand intellectually. It’s just my personality and how I was raised. A million things can go wrong in my life but I still believe with every ounce of my being that I deserve happiness and if I work at it eventually I’ll get it right.

It’s so incredible to me how many parallels there are between entrepreneurship/business/sales and dating. Most of the most successful people in the world aren’t successful because they got lucky the first time around; they’re successful because every time they failed they viewed it as one more idea that didn’t work bringing them a step closer to an idea that would.

People talk about how Thomas Edison tried thousands of failed designs when he was trying to invent the light bulb before he finally created one that worked, or even how long actors and musicians pound the pavement trying to get a break before they hit it big. The constant is always that these people believe that they DESERVE the success that is around the corner for them and it’s never about the goal, but rather about enjoying the journey, and knowing that the more difficult the road the better it will feel when you arrive at your destination.

There are definitely two distinct types of people in the world when it comes to goal setting and ambition. There’s the person who reads a book like “The 4 Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferriss and thinks it’s a cute story but is not replicable for them or anyone else (this is the feeling that I got when I read the Dateable Dork’s blog post on pondering her road ahead), then there’s the person who reads that book and feels like he just got slapped across the face by the voice of reason. He realizes that his life fell off track somewhere along the way and it’s about time that he get his shit together. What’s funny about it is that a lot of the people who think that way about career ambitions often think the opposite way about their love life.

I’m sure that many of you have heard all of this stuff before and for most of you it will not resonate, but for someone like me, this is how I think, and that’s the difference between successful people and everyone else. It’s the difference talked about in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.” Call it delusional, call it idealistic, say it’s because I’m young and haven’t been beaten down by the world yet, but fuck you! I am delusional, I live in my own reality, but you know what? By believing it, it becomes true. One of my favorite t-shirts I own is a shirt from Reflect Ts that says “I create my reality” on it backwards so that I can read it to myself in a mirror. Maybe some of you need to think back to who you were at the age of 23 and imagine what that version of yourself would say about the current one.

Game 3.0

Wow! Life’s been pretty crazy lately. I guess I’ve alluded to the fact that my game has DRASTICALLY improved in the last month or so, and not to sound totally PUA cliché but it’s definitely starting to feel like I’ve seen the matrix. I titled this post “Game 3.0” because I really think that we’re starting to see the next wave or innovation in the community, and I wanted to talk a little about what is coming next and where you should look for the next wave.

First some definitions:

Game 1.0: This is the original stuff. Mystery Method, Cocky/Funny, Speed Seduction, etc. In the evolution of pickup, I look at this as the Newtonian physics of pickup; it’s a convenient way to solve the basic problems, and is probably what you should be learning first. But it’s not the end all be all, and when examined at a more advanced level it has many flaws.

Game 2.0: This is the recent wave of Masculinity/Inner Game and Natural Game products that have come out over the last couple of years. It’s more tailored toward more normal guys who are stumbling upon the community that are successful and probably already have social skills but just want a lot more choice when it comes to women instead of feeling like the women are always the ones choosing them. To continue the physics analogy again, Game 2.0 is the equivalent movement to quantum mechanics and relativity.

Game 2.5: Toward the end of the inner game movement, a social circle game movement and a same night lay game movement (featuring sexual framing and logistics management) popped up. I don’t think these quite deserve their own revolution because for the most part it’s merely minor tweaks to what is already out there as opposed to a complete evolution.

Game 3.0: From what I can tell, we’ve got a new set of things coming around the corner. I see Captain Jack and El Topo at the forefront of this movement right now, but as it catches on I have little doubt that there will be others jumping on the bandwagon as always. CJ’s stuff is, for now at least, much more back end and theoretical, although I am sure that it will become more pragmatic as he continues to work with it. El Topo’s stuff is much more outer game related, and it’s all about using your own identity to hook really hard really quickly.  Both of these are game changers, sort of the super-string theory or some otherwise “unifying theory” if you want to round out the physics analogy.

CJ’s new stuff is called “Player in the Game” theory. Basically the idea is, women are attracted to men who are playing the same game as them. In fact, most shit tests are not shit tests as originally defined, but rather screening questions to help determine what game the two of you are playing together and if it is a game she wants to play. The two basic games are the two paths that Savage discusses.

There are four game dynamics, and all of them have to be established in order for your game goal to be completed. As a result, any blowout can be explained as either a disagreement or ambiguity on at least one of the game dynamics. Take a look at the posts here, here, and here to learn more about it. I’m really looking forward to seeing where CJ takes this.

Steve’s stuff is all about hooking. I remember hearing Steve interviewed a while ago, maybe by Adonis of the Charming Rogue, where he talks about how there are people who are better at picking women up or getting laid than him, but no one hooks harder than he does. When I heard that, I realized how true it really is, having experienced it firsthand. I watched Steve pickup a girl at the Hard Rock Circle Bar, then continue to text her essentially all night. He never got a chance to meet up with her that weekend, but he ended up going on vacation with her a month or two later with only text exchanges between meet and flight. He’s putting out a series of videos the first three of which are here, here, and here. Take a look at that stuff because they’re very content rich even though there’s plenty that’s being left out.

Meeting someone for ten minutes and building enough of a connection to meet them in another country sounds like a fluke, I know, but the thing is that Steve does this consistently. In the month of May alone he had something like 6 girls fly to Austin to stay with him at The Ranch. He’s so consistent with his hooking, in fact, that when he went to The 21 Convention to speak, he stayed with a girl all four days. But what’s crazy is that this isn’t some girl he knew from back in the day, no. Steve stayed with a girl he picked up in a coffee shop when he arrived in Orlando. Again, you can say that it’s kind of a fluke, and I’d tend to believe you, but the thing is, that was the plan. He didn’t book a hotel room, he didn’t make plans to stay with friends. Steve’s plan was to pick up a girl to sleep with that weekend and whose house he and Savage and another dude could stay at for all four days. Bobby Rio from TSB Magazine and Great Seducer: Get a Night Life is looking to do an interview with Steve soon, so definitely be on the lookout for that as well.

Six months ago, stuff like this was not even in my realm of possibility when it came to how good you could get. Hell, two months ago, I knew it was possible but it still wasn’t even in my head as something I could potentially do. I still can’t do anything close to this with consistency, but I can imagine a scenario in which I hook a girl hard enough to make it happen, and I can imagine working out the kinks enough that I develop consistency around this hooking capability. I’m sooooo much better than I was just one year ago when I started this blog (and I was pretty good back then). It’s really exciting to imagine where I will be one year from now if my skills continue to improve like this.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Hilarious!

After watching this video of Mehow running his 10 Second Sexual Attraction game live infield, I saw this comment on the video:

Striking Swede says:

R-Bone, after reading your post I feel like I wanna see a challenge too. I make childish vivid scenes in my head with different gurus, calling it a battle or fight instead, where it’s one scarce girl at a time having to be picked up. The winners between Hypnotica vs Matador, David DeAngelo vs Mehow, and finally Jeffy vs Sinn then face off in some finale to pick up the sassiest, hottest chick of all times, both with suprisingly cool amogs from unsuspected sources (Eben Pagan having read Mehow blog says “your wife just called, the kids wonder when the heat will be back on” and Mehow responds with “dude, you’re like Bart Simpson all grown up…”

Yes… And epic confrontation of tight game, astonishing amounts of mad amoging and nasty elbows to eachothers chests… Mehow starts round 1 by peacocking as a buff ballerina, Sinn comes in dressed like THIS… Yes an epic battle indeed, filmed like Keys to the VIP, with commentators Tyler Durden, Ross Jeffries, David Shade and Mark Cunningham. Tyler wears a rat costume, Ross’ personality for the day is Vlad Tepes (Dracula), Shade has somehow found a vaginadress that he keeps salivating on, and Mark has hypnotized the announcer girl to give him a blowjob under the entire show.

One can only dream of what then happens, as mystery guest Bill Clinton shows up to show the boys how it’s done, only he doesn’t realize that he’s hitting on a his own wife, while she’s dressed up as a fat darkhaired intern who just brushed her teeth. You can tell because she still has… no wait, that’s not toothpaste!

The plot thickens..

Hilarious!!!

LR – If You Hook Hard Enough, The Logistics Work Themselves Out

As you guys know, I rarely write lay reports, and when I do it’s because there’s something novel or particularly interesting to report. This LR is does have some interesting characteristics, but it’s also super relevant to the two things I’ve been working on lately: hooking hard and endgame logistics.

Alright so last night started out kind of swoot (the opposite of sweet). I was supposed to hang out with a girl that night but it ended up not happening. I was looking forward to a nice chill night ending in sex, and was pretty fucking tired, so needless to say I wasn’t in state. I meet up with my buddy Hotshot and we head over to Butterfield 8 for an open bar. I get a couple of drinks in me, but I’m still feeling like going  home and sleeping.

Hotshot is meeting up with a bunch of friends, so I tag along and we end up at some bar I don’t know the name of in east midtown. I’m standing there sort of chilling but I’m definitely seeing some beautiful women there and it’s getting me a little more excited. I see a girl in particular who seems like my steez talking to one of Hotshot’s/my friend and am starting to concoct convenient ways to be introduced. A couple minutes later she comes over to Hotshot and they do in fact know each other. He introduces us to this girl, who we’ll call Holly because I have a feeling she’ll be coming up some more.

Before I go any further, let me just say that this girl was my type. and as I’ve said before, if a girl is my type, it’s just fucking on and there’s nothing that can stop it. From the handshake I know it’s on. She leaves her hand in mine for a least five seconds, and I basically see this as an invitation to game her. We bullshit a little bit about her real name, I’m giving her my aggressive kino with body rocking, and all is right with the world. The bar we’re in has another room behind the main upstairs bar, which on first glance looks like a mirror, and the second I mention it she takes the initiative on conducting an “investigation.”

As we’re about to cross the door jam, I stop and make a big scene about how I’m afraid I’m going to bump my face into the mirror, so we sort of hold hands and do it together. So now it’s hotshot and I talking to Holly, although Hotshot realizes that it’s mostly just me gaming her and excuses himself away. Unfortunately though, as he’s doing this her roommate comes over, and I stand there and let the interrupt happen. Holly introduces us, but then they proceed to chat leaving me there standing alone like a doofus.

Rather than waiting for the conversation to come back to me like a tool, I decide to open another set right next to us. The objective was fully to create a jealousy plot line with Holly. I tell the girl that I’m really close to temporarily stealing her hat. This set doesn’t open very well but I plow because I want it to look like it hooked to everyone looking on, and specifically Holly. A couple minutes later I eject and it looks like Holly and her roommate have disappeared back to the other side of the bar.

I go back to find Hotshot, and as our conversation starts I tell him that we’re going to position ourselves strategically so I can reopen Holly in a little while. She’s talking to two people, an older french dude and a girl. I assume that this is a non issue even though she’s being very flirty because I thought the guy and the girl were together, but it turns out they were siblings. Anyway, I see an opening and pretend to run into her with a “Hey!” and a hug.

She introduces me to the two frenchies and then I use some body language to cut her off from the group a bit, picking up our conversation right where we left off (her major in school). I find out that the french dude and the girl are siblings, and realize I need to separate this now because they work together and she’s flirting with him. She asks me about my tattoo and I tell them both that it’s kind of personal and I don’t know them well enough to tell them about it. Frenchie decides to get himself and Holly beers, big mistake dumbass!

I talk to Holly for a bit, then sit down on a couch mid sentence right near where we are standing. At first she stays standing talking to me, but soon sits on the armrest because I’m leaning back on the couch and it’s hard for her to hear. As she sits on the armrest, I scoot over giving her room to sit and she complies. I go straight into my tattoo story and how it’s related to the health stuff that’s happened into my life. I cold read her telling her that I can tell that she has had an experience in her life that made her grow up really fast. She starts opening up about her dad and stuff, and it’s definitely on.

Frenchie comes back with her beer, she thanks him for it and turns back to talk to me. I tell her about how going through my health stuff it’s really changed me not so much internally but definitely in how I present myself to the world. She’s qualifying herself to me hard, particularly sexually, and telling me how much different I am from most guys. Hotshot says he’s leaving, and Holly offers to come with us to wherever we’re going next. I tell her that Hotshot’s going home and I’m going to stick here, but as I say it I realize that she was trying to make logistics happen, so I go for the pull. It doesn’t happen that second, but a couple of minutes later we’re walking out of the venue.

I say we should go to her house, but even though it’s close it’s really not an option because she has people staying there. I tell her that I live at home but we can go there in a pinch. We talk for a bit and I decide I’m going to grab us a cab and lead. I tell the driver where I live, and she gets a little weirded out by how far uptown it is, and considers just getting out, but I sort of ignore this and distract her with conversation. She has this idea in her head that I am this huge player or something, and I’m trying to essentially deflect without denying the comments, but assure her that she’s particularly awesome and totally my type, which is true.

The plan is to go back to my house and smoke with my sister, but she’s not going to be home yet, so I decide we’re going to go up to the roof. I ask the doorman to turn off the alarm, and he’s hesitant but she plays along and begs him playfully saying how badly she wants to see the stars. I knew that he would let us up, he’s the coolest doorman we have and was just busting my balls.

I haven’t made out with Holly yet, so when the elevator door closes I shove her against the wall and start making out. We get onto the roof and take a look at the view for a bit, then decide to climb up a ladder to “the castle” as we call it which is where my sister loves to smoke more than anywhere else. The whole time she’s giving me shit about being this crazy player, and I keep thinking I might lose the lay. Make out some more, start trying to pull off her shirt. I undo her bra and am about to pull it off, but I start getting some resistance. More anti-player defense. She redoes her bra and pulls her shirt back down.

A couple minutes later I start escalating again, but this time she sort of takes it to the next level by grabbing my cock through my pants so I decide that I’m totally okay getting her naked. Shirt off, bra off, pants unbuttoned. She apologizes for her hairy pussy because she is between waxes and will be getting waxed next week. She wouldn’t let me go down on her because of it, which was fucking lame, but whatever, it’s all good. I unbutton my pants and let her take my cock out, and as she does she gets on her knees like a good girl would and starts sucking it, which soon turns into me fucking her face.

Soon we start fucking. I pick her up and am fucking her mid air on a rooftop for a bit, but decide to change it up because I can’t hold that position forever. She gets freaked out that she’s naked on a rooftop and it seems like she’s about to go home. I get a lot more shit for being a huge player with really smooth game (note to self, tone down the smoothness a little), she even calls it game! I’m so ready for her to ask me if I’ve seen the VH1 show and stuff. Anyway, we continue talking as she gets dressed again, and eventually invites herself back to my room.

I call the doorman and tell him to set the alarm again, and soon we get on the elevator back to my floor. This is where it becomes really important that I had hooked her that hard… As we get out of the elevator, I see my mom standing there in the doorway! No idea what the fuck she’s going up, but I guess in hindsight it wasn’t as late as I though it was, we had left the bar around 1:30 which is really early in New York. I play it like it’s no big deal and just escort her straight back toward my room without saying anything. I show her in, then close a bunch of doors so that the noise won’t carry. Come back into my room and start taking off my clothes as if I’m getting ready for bed all while having just a conversation about whatever. I’m down to my boxer briefs and she tells me that I’m fucking gorgeous, which is always nice to hear. I make out with her a bit, then tell her to strip for me. She agrees, but won’t let me take pictures :(.

From there it was just over. She got on top and made herself cum on my dick, then we fucked for a little bit longer before I came in her mouth. She swallowed it all like a good girl should. We lay down, have some pillow talk, more player shit, I tell her that I actually really like her and want her to sleep over, eventually she agrees. We spoon all night, get up and have sex again in the morning. I do the deep spot on her and she says it was amazing and asks me what I did because she’d never had an orgasm like that before. I make breakfast, and she leaves around 11:30 because she has to go to work. We make plans for hanging out later, but she may need to go to Westchester tonight or something, so we’ll have to see how that plays out.

Before we break, let’s just quickly go over the logistical issues that had to be overcame: She was out with a ton of friends, she had people staying over at her house, she was opposed to going that far uptown, she was opposed to going to my mom’s house, she was freaked out about having sex on a roof, my mom was standing there as I brought her home, and of course the whole time she th ought I was a huge player (which I guess I can’t blame her for…). While I handled my logistics as best as I could, when it came down to it, it was all about hooking and compliance.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]
Posted in sex. Tags: . Leave a Comment »

Two Paths – My Thoughts

Last week Lance and I had a discussion over AIM about the “Two Paths” concept posed by Jason Savage. Reading that post hit him really hard, and if you’d like to read his thoughts on the subject, he posted about it here. The idea of the two paths is essentially that there are two distinct paths one can take in pickup: 1) You are looking for the one, someone you can connect with deeply and start a life with. 2) You are looking to sow your seed and have a large variety of sexual partners. Savage asserts that if you try to walk between the two paths, you will wind up on neither and unhappy as a result. This is something that I’ve talked about a lot from a technique standpoint, but I have not really discussed much from an internal frame of mind standpoint. In my life it’s always been pretty clear, but talking to others about this, I see the need for a concept like this.

I go through phases in which I’m just looking for random ass. This year, for example, I had a 3-4 month stretch of not taking numbers from women unless I’d had sex with them, with the exception of a situation where I’d take the number to text a girl later in the night. Even in these situations though, I’d delete the number the next day if I didn’t hear back. There are other times where I’m looking specifically for a girlfriend. I’m in a phase like this right now, in fact. I become far less interested in plowing through conversation with girls who I don’t like that much for the sake of getting into their pants.

When I read through Savage’s post the first time, I did take issue with one thing, though. He made it seem like if you’re on one path you have to essentially cut the other out of your life, which speaking from experience I can definitively say is not true. In a more recent post, though, he clarifies this. You see, with two paths, Savage is talking specifically about new people who are trying to develop their skills. Someone who’s been around for a while, and has a more developed skillset in both areas, is more capable of easily jumping from path to path as often as possible.

Savage uses a martial arts analogy: just because you’re trying to learn jiujutsu doesn’t mean that you can’t practice karate sometimes. I don’t necessarily think that this is a very good analogy, but it does illustrate the point that the techniques are essentially different and if you understand that they are totally different and independent of each other, you are easily able to bounce between the two as necessary. I think of it like speaking multiple languages. If you’re talking to someone who only speaks English, you’re not going to speak a combination of English and French to them. Likewise, if you’re speaking to someone who only speaks French, combining languages is going to make communication more difficult.

Even when I’m on Path 1, if I’m talking to a girl who’s clearly not relationship material but seems fun enough and likes me, I will quickly jump to Path 2 and try to make it happen. If I do it early enough in the interaction, the transition can be smooth. Acting like you’re looking for a relationship with a girl who you’re just looking to sleep with is a great way for her to get hurt, or worse, for you to end up in a less than ideal relationship (yes, this is far worse). At the same time, not taking Path 2 with this girl could also mess up your chances on Path 1 because extended periods of time without getting laid can cause needy behavior that can scare quality women away.

Women are great at switching between the two paths. Most women are on Path 1, but are very willing to have a Path 2 romp with the right guy, the type of guy who “doesn’t count” when women tell you how many men they’ve slept with. The type of guy who won’t judge them or spread their business around town, but also won’t try to tie them down afterward. Yes, your innocent sweetheart, the one who you’d do anything for, who’s only slept with two guys before you, both of which were her ex-boyfriends. Even she was having sex with some Hot Marine type of guy for the first couple of months she was dating you. That’s why she was able to hold out on you for two months before having sex; she’d get all worked up out on a date with you then call the guy who doesn’t count, because sleeping with you too early is going to hurt her chances with you long term according to The Rules. You should be doing the same thing.

FU Report – Long Weekend in Austin (Part 2)

We hang out at the house for a while, and check out Austin before going to see Savage talk on female sexuality. By the way, this talk was fucking amazing, and while I didn’t get too much out of it personally since I’m just sort of past that point in my game, I can’t begin to tell you how much having heard this talk when I was just starting out would have accelerated my learning curve. Savage is giving that same talk at the Under 21 Convention and I will all but guarantee that it will be one of the top 5 talks there. I’ll post a link to it on this blog if/when it goes up on the site.

As we’re heading out, I talk to HBWorldTraveler and try to make plans to see her, but after talking to her a couple of times and working out temporary plans she ends up not calling me back, so I next her ass like that show on MTV. We go out, El Topo was on teaching duty, so I tag along for a bit with them before breaking off to do my own thing. We started at Molotov on W. 6th St.

As a side note, it never ceases to amaze me how hard and quickly Steve (El Topo) hooks. He did a seated two set as a demo, and within a minute or two they are all over him. It’s really unreal. I used to think it was just superpowers, but it’s something that I’ve been specifically working on since doing my program with him and learning how he does it, and I’ve started to see flashes of those results. Last weekend (the weekend after Austin), for example, I met a really awesome girl (super cute, works in investment banking, similar sense of humor and music tastes) for 10 minutes early in the night, and while I didn’t think it was going very well, she told me to take her number, and I sort of realized at that point that I was just misreading her. After I took her number, I made sure she had mine and told her to text me later and let me know where she is. She must have known what that meant because she ended up texting me at 3:10am. Granted, I didn’t check it until about 4:30, but I’ve hung out with her since then and it’s pretty fucking on.

Anyway, Molotov was a pretty cool place, definitely the type of place I would regularly hit up if I lived there, although the crowd was maybe a little older on average than I’d like. We end up bouncing around a bit at which point I basically decide that it’s time for me to go solo. I head back to Molotov and start doing my thing. I walk in, stop, gaze the room for a minute, then proceed upstairs. Right as I get up there, the Cupid Shuffle comes on, and so I try to organize people to get it going but no one’s playing along. So fuck them, I start doing the Cupid Shuffle myself. People start joining me, and by the end of the song I’m leading a group of maybe 20 people dancing in unison. Of course, while this is going on, I’m deciding who I’m going to approach and how.

The song ends, and I see a super hottie, at least a 9 (call her HBNurse), with a friend. I go in, grab her and open direct, exchange names, meet her friend, and mini-isolate her. It’s pretty on. We’re talking, she asks me where my drink is, I tell her I haven’t gotten one yet and she should buy me one. She laughs and says that I should be the one offering to buy her one. I explain to her that I’m awesome and don’t need to pay for women’s attention so I don’t do that, and I think it’s kind of weird that women are okay with guys buying them drinks and that I can’t imagine a confident and independent woman letting a random guy she doesn’t know buy her a drink.

We talk for a while, she decides we should go get drinks, so I use my get waited on first at a crowded bar tactic and order both of our drinks. Without asking she hands me the money for her drink, and all is well. We go sit down, I’m feeling pretty good about the whole situation. At some point she decides she’s going to Rodeo because she knows a bartender who can get her in. I ask her if she can get me in and she says yes. Fuck Up #1, I left my drink Upstairs. We go downstairs with her friend and they tell me that they’re going to finish their drinks and go. Since I left my drink upstairs, they encourage me to go up and get it. It seems like they’re stalling for a way to get rid of me, meaning I either totally misread her interest or more likely she isn’t that confident about being able to get me in, so I tell her that I’m going to go get my drink, and as I’m walking up the stairs I see them whisper to each other and basically run out the door. I take out my phone and text her saying that I’m going to stay there for a while and go ahead without me, but I had already invited her to party at the house so I figure I’d try to text her after everything closes and see if I can make it happen.

There are a couple of things that are important here. First, I number closed her early on in the set in case shit happens later and give her a logistical reason to hang out. Second, I rid her of the guilt of ditching me by excusing her. If she had just ditched me without me making that excuse for her, she’d probably feel too guilty about it to talk to me again because women are very sensitive to social pressure. When I get a text back from her saying “Okay!” as a response to my I’m going to stick around Molotov text, I decide that it’s probably still on.

I grab my beer upstairs and go back down. One of the guys from the lair talk earlier comes up to me and starts talking to me trying to give me advice on my body language with HBNurse. He was going to tell me that my body language was too needy, but what he doesn’t get is that it was on and we were stomach to stomach with my hands pulling her into my dick at the hips. This is a major pet peeve, and so I overreacted, so John if you’re reading this, again I’m sorry about what I said. It was kind of douchey of me to tell you that I don’t need your advice because I’m probably a lot better than you. I decide to prove to John that going direct with aggressive body language actually works really well and probably better than his indirect bullshit, so I tell him to come wing. I see this two set at the bar, one girl is really cute and the other isn’t, but I open the cute one direct, introduce myself, get her name, introduce John to her and then her friend, and then backturn John and the friend to game the cutie. I start talking to HBVeterinarian, things seem like they’re going well, so screen for logistics to try to get her to our “afterparty.” It’s a no go, and me asking her what she’s up to later reminds her that she was in the middle of closing out her tab and leaving, but I number close her in like 5 minutes in front of this guy and tell her we should hang out later.

I go back to John and apologize to him for being such a dick, then head out to meet Steve and his student. We head over to Katz’s Diner for some food, when I get a text from HBNurse saying that she just left Rodeo and is outside. Fuck Up#2: I text her telling her to come to Katz’s and meet me. Right after I do it, Steve tells me that CJ would never do that, he would run out and get her, controlling the logistics. I decide that is enough of a reason to do it, and I go back to Rodeo, but there’s a big crowd and I get lazy so decide fuck it she’s contacted me once and she’ll do it again.

Cut to an hour later, we’re in the car going back and she texts me asking where the party is. She had gone to a gay bar after closing time or something and was just leaving. Alright great, I ask her if she has a GPS, she does, so I give her the address. Fuck Up #3: Having a conscience about bending the truth. We continue texting, and I feel a little bad about her expecting a party when there’s really nothing going on, so I basically try to switch strategies. My strategy is now, the party is dying, but come over so we can fuck. I start textcalating, but it doesn’t happen.

I guess my end game logistics still need some work.

Posted in dating, sex. 6 Comments »

FU Report – Long Weekend in Austin (Part 1)

Last weekend I was in Austin hanging out with El Topo. It was a lot of fun and WOW is the house that he’s in ridiculous. The guy who owns it is an interesting and bizarre story on his own, but it’s not really my place to discuss it. Anyway, this Fuck Up Report is about two almost sure lays that I lost on the same day. Needless to say, my end game logistics still need quite a lot of work.

My flight is out of Newark at 6:55am on Friday. I wake up at about 4:15 and get ready. I’m already packed, so I get ready as quickly as possible and leave. I waited for the subway for about 15 minutes, and as a result I barely make the NJTransit train by maybe a minute or two (if it had left on time I would have missed it). Had I missed that train, I would not have made my flight.

Anyway, I get to the airport, barely get my bag checked in time, and by the time I get to the gate the whole plane has boarded, but it’s not like the closed the gate behind me or anything so I was alright. The plane is one of the planes with three seats on each side of the  aisle, and it’s not full so when I get to my seat, it’s me on the window and a cute blondie on the aisle.

As I sit down I open her with a “Hello.” Guys, this is a really important point about any day game situation. When I sit down and say hello right out of the gate, it is totally normal that I have just started a conversation with the person sitting next to me. If I wait and build up the courage while she sits there reading a magazine, it becomes far more awkward going forward. Anyway, things are going alright, we talk for a while and it’s just not going where I want it to go, plus  it sounds like she doesn’t have very good logistics in Austin, not to mention she’s not old enough to go to bars.

So I write it off as a maybe I’ll take her number and try to invite her over the house with some friends and close someone through more of a social circle avenue, but in the meantime I read Sinn’s Lay Reports Book on my kindle and then go to sleep for a bit. When I wake up, and this becomes important later, I decide I should set my watch to Austin time. I know that my flight is scheduled to land around 10 but the captain said it would be maybe a half hour early, so I set my watch two hours behind (WRONG!) so that I can monitor the time in case I do turn things around with this girl and want to go for the Mile High Lay. She sleeping though, and I look across the aisle and see this cute hipster type of girl with headphones on sitting on the window by herself.

I get up, go to the bathroom, and come back and sit next to HBWorldTraveler. She’s really hot but definitely dressed pretty grimily in that hipster kind of way, but needless to say I would, as would any of you. She notices me sit there and shifts her body toward me and takes off her headphones. I open her with a hello, I was kind of bored and couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d come and talk to you. She’s all excited that she now has someone to talk to, and so we’re off to the races.

She asks me where I’m flying from, which to me is a very weird question but it turns out the reason she asked is because she had just spent two months in India on her own. This conversation is super easy because I can just sit there and let her talk and talk and talk. I do control the conversation as necessary and bring out specific things that I want to talk about. I also take this opportunity to frame her as someone who is independent, adventurous, and lives for new exciting experiences (see: the type of person who would have sex in a bathroom on an airplane with a  complete stranger).

After I’ve framed her the way I want to, I decide that it is now time to move into deeper comfort because I need to build up her identity and sexuality in a way that will empower her, while at the same time build that emotional connection that it’s going to take to get her to comply later on. I talk about the standard deep comfort stuff about some of the crazy shit that has happened in my life (those of you who know me know what I’m talking about), and how it has changed me and made me become much more accepting (see: non-judgmental) and empowered in my life.

I mix in a bunch of cold reads and get her to really open up. Things are going amazingly. She asks me about my tattoo, I ask her if she has any, she has one on her upper back right over her spine. I’m like, wow, that must have really hurt, and she sort of doesn’t give me an emphatic yes, so I tell her that I see what’s going on, that she obviously really liked it and it totally got her turned on. I called her a masochist, she blushes hard and laughs, it’s fucking on my friends!

Time check, my watch says it’s about 8am. I decide that it’s time to start transitioning into a let’s do something crazy mood so that I can pull her within the next half hour or so. I go into some stuff, things are going well, and I’m thinking in my head that in about 5 minutes I’ll be ready to get her to come with me. Then out of nowhere, the fasten seatbelt sign comes on, and we’ve begun our initial descent. I found out later that Austin is only ONE hour behind New York and thus me not having the time I thought I had. Flight attendants all over the aisles, people going to the bathroom while they still can, and I’m mad at myself on the inside.

About 5 minutes later, I tell her that I need to tell her something. Then in my phone sex voice, I whisper into her ear that when I came over to talk to her, it was because I thought she was really sexy and I figured that if things went well it might be fun to join the mile high club together. She blushes hard, and then thanks me and tells me that was really sweet and she’s really flattered. Without coming out and saying it, she basically says that she would have been down. FUCK ME!

Anyway, I get the number when we land, and I tell her we’ll talk later and maybe hang out that night. Later on she finds me at baggage claim and we talk for a while while we’re waiting for our rides since our plane was early. She introduces me to her family and tells me to call her later.

Keep in mind, all of this is before 10am Austin time. Stay tuned for Part 2 of this FU report, including blowing another lay later in the night with an even hotter girl.