Are You Your Dream Girl’s Dream Guy?

A couple of things have happened in my life lately that have motivated me to write this article:

First, I’ve been spending a retarded amount of time gaming over the last few months and now would like to reallocate some of that time toward some business initiatives that I’ve recently gotten involved in, but the only way to really keep myself sexually satisfied with a reduced allocation of time toward dating is a relationship. This has gotten me thinking a lot about what I’m looking for in a woman.

Second, I introduced a friend of mine to game and he’s really committed himself to getting good (had his first lay in like 6 months last weekend!) and dating around to figure out what he likes so he can tailor his game appropriately. Having been an AFC his whole life, relationships have sort of just come to him so he’s never really explored what interests him, a problem that all but maybe the top 10% of men have.

Third, I’ve been talking to this girl who so far has a lot of relationship potential (call her Liz) and while I’m not sure things will work with her, it’s gotten me warmed up to the idea of getting involved to that level with someone again.

My telling people that I’ve decided that I’m going to find a girlfriend has been met with a lot of skepticism among friends and family. That’s fine, a lot of them don’t know me that well, particularly with regards to my dating life. I keep getting the old “it’s not that simple to just find someone” and the “what’s to say that when you find the perfect girl, she’ll even like you.”

Which brings me to the topic at hand: are you the man that your type of woman is looking for? You see, women have negative views of game because they think it’s manipulative and dishonest, and that makes total sense because a lot of men are all looking for the magic bullet to essentially lie and manipulate women into their beds. But game is not about a magic bullet. Game is about changing yourself. Improving yourself. We practice structure at the beginning to develop an unconscious competence over time that makes us into better conversationalists and more attractive men. Men who will in fact get the girl who they want. My personality is more authentic and true to myself than ever before in my life. I make a lot of people laugh, I piss a lot of people off, but no matter what, I feel very secure in the fact that everything I say is the real me and not me trying to pretend to be someone that another person might like. And yes, my type, the type of woman that drives me wild, feels the same way about me.

I guess when I first got into my relationship with Rian about this time last year was when this idea first really resonated with me. It was then that I really started to identify as the guy who my type likes. There have been a few other occasions of this, including an incident where I was with my buddy RajNYC and I had to actively ignore the girl he’d brought with him so as not to steal her from him (he ended up getting laid that night by the way, I warned him not to bring girls who are my type around me again because next time I’ll steal her).

Bottom line is, when a girl is my type; that super sassy intellectual with a dorky streak and a sense of adventure as well as healthy open minded views toward sex; it is game over. I am the guy that she’s probably never met before but will instantly fall hard for. I’ve spent nearly two years developing my personality and sense of self to the point where I can make that proclamation, but really feel like I’m now that guy. Maybe Liz is my type, but if she’s not, I’ll work my ass off to find the next girl who is. I’m going to do it without online game for a while and see how it goes (Liz is a Match.com girl, the last one still in my phone from my last round of emails a few weeks ago). I know that I won’t cover as much ground that way, but my subscription just expired on match and I want to prove myself that I can find a girlfriend without it using day game and night game if for no other reason than to say I did.

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10 Responses to “Are You Your Dream Girl’s Dream Guy?”

  1. artshopgirl Says:

    I stop in to your blog once in a while to see what’s new and I have to say that I enjoyed this one. Knowing who you are is just way more sexy then “The Game.”
    Art Shop Girl
    http://misadventuresofshopgirl.wordpress.com/

  2. Benedict M. Smith Says:

    a buddy of mine asked me why i put any stock in game, or in my case “direct game”….I told him, one day, i will look across a room, and see a woman that I simply must have, that I must date, that I must bring into my life….and I want the confidence, the skills, and the knowledge coded into my brain 2nd nature that will allow me to be who and what I am and attract her to me. period. great post man.

  3. LR – If You Hook Hard Enough, The Logistics Work Themselves Out « Hammertime Says:

    […] I go any further, let me just say that this girl was my type. and as I’ve said before, if a girl is my type, it’s just fucking on and there’s nothing that can stop it. From the handshake I know it’s on. She leaves her hand in mine for a least five seconds, and […]

  4. JimZFlam Says:

    Super sassy intellectual with a dorky streak and a sense of adventure. That’s every guys type you douche. And as for stealing friends girls cause they’re your type? Dude your an ass too. I don’t buy a lot of your crap. Let’s see a pic of u. If your not that good looking of a guy I’ll give some props but otherwise, I think your ” game” is probably more about looks and that you’re just a douche.

  5. Hammer Says:

    That’s not true at all. Plenty of guys like more submissive southern belle types or the bubbly cheerleader type or a variety of other types. If you read it more carefully, I didn’t steal the girl, but I had to make a very conscious effort to not because the chemistry was so strong. Which is the point of the article, that if a girl is my type it’s just fucking on. This is what happened in my most recent lay report (that and the fact that I’m hooking like crazy now). I’m not going to say I’m not a good looking guy, because I have a couple of things going for me, especially being quite tall, but I am definitely not getting laid on looks alone (but my grooming and fashion helps). If you want to see me, I’d be happy to go out in NYC with anyone who reads the blog.

  6. JimZFlam Says:

    Show me a blog from a guy of avg height and avg looks who can make the claims u do and Ill read it. Otherwise Im just not that impressed by a tall good looking guy pulling tail. Necessary skill and “game” go WAY down. I think that chemistry u speak of has a lot more to do with the chick being into tall dudes. I’m 5’10” and above avg looking but what works for a 6’2″ good looking guy is going to be way different.

  7. JimZFlam Says:

    And as for not stealing your friends chick, you didn’t that night but telling him u will the next time is pretty lame. A guy can’t have real friends if they can’t even trust him. Instead of friends he’ll just have losers that hang around and use him in hopes of grabbing some stray tail.

  8. Hammer Says:

    lol! Dude, if you had game, you would be singing a different tune. Do you know what Brad P looks like? He’s an ugly mo-sucka! Super thin, huge nose, big ass teeth… Yea he’s 6’5″, but trust me, he’s not getting laid on (genetic) looks alone. He does have a rocker sexy stereotype so his fashion definitely helps, but Brad P gets laid based on game. You just don’t pull off the crazy shit that he does without ridiculous game. But then again, you probably need to have game to realize that.

    I remember when I was just starting, I thought that if I learned how to open, the girl would end up in my bed. Then I learned how to open, and realized that opening was really easy, but hooking and getting into comfort is hard. Then I learned how to do that, and realized that maintaining attraction through comfort was really hard, etc. The point is, there are a lot of pieces to this puzzle, and being good looking isn’t going to do much to help you other than make opening easier.

  9. JimZFlam Says:

    Are u speaking about yourself in the third person? Alright, I will conceed that you are most likely accurate about moving beyond opening. From my observations over the years though it seems game is really something you’re born with or you’re not. I have descent game, admittedly not as much as Id like to have but some guys can naturally be funny and charming around women. Others, not so much.
    And I still maintain telling friends you’ll steal their chicks is a dick move.


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