DramaTel and SpoofCard

This post represents a mixture of a public service announcement and a random musing. If you have a tendency to mess around on your spouse or even just weigh your options behind his/her back, make sure you read on.

Have any of you heard of either Dramatel or SpoofCard? I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard Covino & Rich talking about this today on the show. For those of you who don’t know, these services essentially mask your phone number from caller id and allow you to put another number in its place. In addition, you have the option of distorting your voice up or down to make it sound male or female (apparently it’s particularly good at making female voices deeper). Try this out once and you will be amazed at the amount of faith we put in the caller id on our phones. 

Cheaters beware! If you are screwing around behind your significant other’s back, be very careful how you answer the phone when you’re being called, particularly if you’re ignoring your boy/girlfriend’s calls at that time. 

Slackers beware! When you call out sick from work, make sure that you are careful and consistent with the charade, particularly if your boss has emergency contacts on file. I’m definitely going to keep these two services in the back of my mind in case I need them.

I know this commercial is incredibly cheesy and looks like a joke/spoof, but it’s not.


Blogger Roundtable: Virginity

As part of the second blogger roundtable discussion of Virginity, I figured I’d give my opinions on the subject. You won’t have to look very far back to find my post on why I refuse to date virgins, so I obviously am going to take a someone negative few of it, but hopefully you won’t think I’m too much of an asshole because of it.

One thing that nearly every “natural” (people who are just naturally good with women) that you will find is that they all lost their virginity early. Really early. As early as 10, 11, 12 in some cases. This is not an accident. Taking a page from the Tao of Steve, your first step to attracting women is getting rid fo your desire. By having sex at a young age, you grow up with an abundance mentality toward women, which is essential in being normal and fun around them. The longer you wait, the more your mind builds it up, what you might know as “putting the pussy on a pedestal” if you’ve seen The 40 Year Old Virgin

I was kind of a late bloomer so losing my virginity at the age of 12 was not an option. In fact, I remember dating a girl back in 7th grade for 9 months and being so afraid to even kiss her for more than a couple of seconds out of fear of things escalating to a point where she might realize that I was still pre-pubescent (and she was smoking hot, you know, one of thost girls who peaked at 13). Then again, I never claimed to be a natural. My current ability took years of studying and practice to develop.

So as you can imagine, I would say that virginity is not a big deal. Not at all. As a dad I will encourage my son to lose his virginity as soon as possible. I’ll also tell him to bite her ear to distract her from the pain as he enters her. It’s going to be really weird and probably not fun the first time you do it so the sooner you get the awkwardness out of the way the sooner you can get to the good stuff. As for my daughter, I’m not quite as sure, but I think that I will encourage her to be comfortable with her sexuality and smart about her decisions.


Other Posts from the Blogger Roundtable on Virginity:

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NFL Week 4: Bets

I’ve been successful thus far placing my bets, winning about $110 last week and $160 the week before. Despite my success, however, I felt a little slighted last week with the Colts losing and turning in the last minute after taking the lead with a minute and a half, robbing me of $210.  Lets see if I can do any better this week.

In addition to betting the NFL this week, I have also put some money down on a couple of college games. College football tends to be quite unpredictable (e.g. USC losing on Thursday), so it’s important to choose carefully when making picks. That said, I also think that there is a lot of room in college football to exploit biases among the sports media and betting fans. Betting on the SEC is my favorite way to do this.

The SEC is head and shoulders above every other conference, but as a result of beating eachother up all the time, they get pounded in the BCS rankings. Also, there is a major Big 10 and PAC 10 media bias as well as a Notre Dame bias which can easily be exploited. Here are my college football picks for the week:

TEASER: $55 Georgia over Alabama -0.5 and Auburn over Tennessee -1.0

Regular Bet: $35 Purdue over Notre Dame with no spread and even odds.

NFL Bets

I don’t feel ultra-confident about very much this week in the way I did last week, so I hope I don’t totally fuck up by betting for the sake of betting. I’ve tried to spread my money across a bunch of games so that I won’t lose too bad. Having said that though, I do feel like all the bets that I’ve placed are good bets that should win.

$55 Jets over Cardinals -1.0

$35 Vikings over Tennessee +3.0 with even odds. The Vikings are due for a win and I think Adrian Peterson is going to have a big game.

Teaser: $55 Jacksonville over Houston -1.0 and Bengals over Cleveland +2.5.

$55 Over 40 on the Eagles vs. Bears

$35 Green Bay over Tampa Bay.

What I Look for in a Long Term Mate

As promised, my post on what I look for in a long term mate. I am at a point in my life where I will not date someone long term who I couldn’t at least possibily see myself marrying a few years down the road and having children with. All of these characteristics are required for a woman who I will be in a long term relationship with, so the order really doesn’t matter, although I did try to list them in order of importance. Since some of them are related to the genetics of my children, not all of them are required traits of a woman who I will hook up with.

Some of you may say that I need to ease up, or that I’ll never find a woman like that, but I don’t care. There is no buckle on my hat. I am not a pilgrim. I will not settle. When someone asks me for one tip that they can implement immediately in improving his game, I tell him to raise his standards. This puts you in the (attractive) mindset of being the chooser and forces a woman to qualify herself to you if she is going to have a chance. If you want a woman with a great sense of humor, don’t deal with the woman who hates your jokes. If you want an athletic woman, don’t waste your time with couch potatoes.

Being more selective works. When I graduated in June I had the objective of finding myself a long term girlfriend as soon as possible. I went on dates with 50+ different women over the next two months and am now in a relationship with Rian who satisfies every single item below. Anyway, without further adieu, here is the list:

1. She needs to be thin:

One thing that I will never apologize for is what physical characteristics I am physically attracted to. I like a woman to be thin. She has to have a flat stomach and slender legs. Yea it’s shallow, and sure, some people have a harder time staying slim than others, but it should be kept in mind that our entire evolutionary history food was a scarce resource, and as a result people were thin. Thus I feel justified in being somewhat of a snob about weight.

2. She needs to be witty:

This has to do with her personality. i want her to be able to banter with the best of them. She should be sharp and quick on her feet. Conversation is so much more fun with people like this.

3. She needs to want me emotionally, and lust for me sexually:

I don’t mind fighting for a girl, but I do not want to have to pretend to be someone who I’m not. I want her to like me for me, and like everything about me. I want her to get turned on by the sight of me.

4. She needs to have a bubbly/up-beat personality:

I like high energy, perky girls who are flirty and smile a lot. What can I say? I just find that type of attitude to be magnetic.

5. She needs to have a positive outlook:

I don’t like complainers. I want a woman who can find fun in any situation, someone who when things go badly is able to laugh about them rather than get angry about things that are out of her realm of control. Someone who’s realistic, but generally positive.

6. She needs to have a high sex drive:

At this point in my life, I like to get off at least 10-15 times a week or more depending on how busy I am. I would like the majority of these times to involve my girlfriend in some way.

7. She needs to be able to cum quickly and multiple times:

This has been a recent addition that I have made to the list since dating this new girl. Sex is just way more fun when she can cum 7+ times in an hour.

8. She needs to be sexually adventurous:

I can be quite kinky, and I have tried a lot yet have so much more that I’d like to try. I want a woman who enjoys exploring my fantasies and has fantasies of her own that I can fulfill.

9. She needs to be ambitious:

I want someone who has purpose in her life, and a plan to get there. Someone who is independent and can fend for herself if necessary.

10. She needs to be intelligent:

This is mostly a genetic characteristic. If a woman is witty and ambitious but still dumb as bricks (bubbly model maybe?), she can still be fun to hang out with and date in a casual relationship, but I would never get into a long term relationship with her.

11. She needs to be spontaneous and adventurous (out of the bedroom):

There are a lot of things that I still want to do in my life. I want to go skydiving, kite-surfing, hang-gliding; I want to learn stunt driving, get a motorcycle license, and learn how to fly a plane. I want to live in another country for a few months/years. I want to take exotic adventure vacations. If I’m in a long term relationship with someone, I want our vacations together to be more than lying on the beach in Cabo.

12. She needs to care about the less fortunate:

She should have a sense of morality, and have good motherly instincts. On some level, she should be outraged about crimes against humanity/genocide. 

13. She needs to be at least 5’6″:

This is a genetic characteristic mainly, but it also has to do with how awkward pictures look when a 6’2″ guy is standing next to a 5’3″ girl. Having said that, I love hooking up with short little 90lbs women. I’m pretty skinny, so it’s fun to be able to physically manhandle a woman once in a while.

14. She needs to be competitive:

She should challenge my beliefs. She should strive to be able to beat me in Wii Tennis. A little friendly competition can make for a lot of fun.

15. She needs to be athletic:

I like a girl who is feminine, but she should also be able to get dirty once in a while and at least be able to go on a hike or a bike ride with me.

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Relationship Management and Jealousy

One of the things that comes along with dating exceptionally attractive women is the fact that guys will be hitting on the girl you’re with constantly. I was listening to my favorite radio show, The Covino and Rich Show on Maxim Radio, Sirius 108 today and one of the topics of discussion was a “Friend In Need” email that they got regarding this very topic.

The guy has been dating a coworker for a while and when he started dating her she was a little chunky. Since he’s been dating her though, she’s lost 30lbs and is now a bombshell. Since she is newly hot, she is suddenly getting multiple times the amount of male attention that she is used to, and is eating it up. The guy worries that she is getting too flirty because she doesn’t realize that all of these guys have an agenda with her, or worse that she enjoys the attention and will leave him for the first male model who gives her the time of day.

The boys (Steve Covino and Rich Davis) are both very experienced in the area of dating hot women. They themselves are naturals (people who are naturally good at picking up women) whose resumes speak for themselves. Covino is currently dating Layla Kayleigh of America’s Best Dance Crew, Maxim Magazine, Attack of the Show, and World Poker Tour, and Rich Davis is dating Jenn Sterger, former playmate and FSU Cowgirl and currently a Gameday host for the Jets. They differed in opinion, with Covino saying that he needs to assert himself as a man and let the guys know that she’s his girl, while Rich said that he needs to just chill out and not get overly jealous because that will drive her away.

My opinion on the situation is very similar to Rich’s. Jealousy is such a turnoff to women. A little jealousy can be cute, but it is such a fine line to walk and it will ultimately get breached for the simple reason that as your woman gets a rise out of you she will continue to push that button and test you until you break.

Listen to me guys, it is in a hot woman’s nature that she will always be testing your worth as a man by putting you in these situations. Evolutionarily speaking, she needs to know that if your family is being hunted by a lion you will not crack under the pressure. Don’t resent her for this, it is something out of her control. You can talk a big game all you want, but she will continue to test you to make sure that you really are strong enough for her.

One of the paradoxes of dating that men have trouble understanding is that though women want you to be a powerful man who is in control, they will continuously try to strip you of your power/masculinity. The hotter the woman, the more experience she has with men of all types turning into wusses, and therefore the more she will test you. These tests come in the form of flipping out at you for no good reason, trying to make you jealous, bossing you around, etc. Do you think it’s a coincidence that women get the most emotional and testy right when they are most fertile? It’s not, they need to make sure that the father of their child is a strong man who will be able to take care of her offspring.

So what’s the solution? Simple, and I can’t emphasize this enough: BE NON-REACTIVE.

If a guy is being aggressive with your girl, the worst thing you can do is start a fight. This scares her and is a major turn-off. Instead, make her feel safe. Hold her close to your body, back turn the guy, body block him out of the conversation, ignore him completely.

If your girl is being flirty and trying to get a rise out of you, ignore it. Tool the guy by totally ignoring them. Alternatively, you can make him out to be the coolest guy in the world and talk about how cute they would be as a couple, but this is always tough to pull off. Her flirting with guys either means she is testing you to see if in fact she really has your balls in a vice grip, or she is actively searching for your replacement. If you think it’s the latter, you might need to make a power play of your own and go be a little flirty. 

The non-reactive technique is guaranteed to piss her off, 100%. So when she throws a fit about the fact that you let her flirt with other girls, how do you respond you may ask? Well if you guessed non-reactive, you would be correct. This attitude sub-communicates that you are used to your girlfriend getting a lot of attention, and that she can get as pissed off as she wants at you and you’re still not going anywhere. Here is a Tony Robbins clip that illustrates this principle perfectly. Interestingly, even though it has the short term of effect of angering her, it has the long term effect of building attraction and bringing her closer to you. As you refuse to acknowledge her tests, they will become less and less frequent.

Disclaimer: Know the difference between hot girl shit tests and crazy girl warning signs. You may have to run into a crazy girl to actually learn the difference (sharp objects are a telltale sign), but I have faith that you’ll make it out alive.

Why I Don’t Date Virgins

There are a lot of guys who fantasize about deflowering virgins. They talk about how they want to be her first. About how tight it would be, etc. There’s a word for guys like this: Douchebag. Trying to talk a virgin into having sex with you is pretty much one of the scummiest things you can do. When I am talking to a woman who I am attracted to, and I hear that she is a virgin, I metaphorically run for the hills. Here’s why:

1. Why is she still a virgin?

For her to still be a virgin when I come along is weird. At the age of 22, it’s very possible for a man to just have zero game and never have gotten a chance to lose his virginity. For an attractive woman, however, that is not a realistic possibility. If she is a virgin, maybe she’s just waiting for “that special person.” Maybe she doesn’t plan on losing her virginity until marraige. Maybe she is really shy and freezes up when things escalate. Maybe she’s just afraid of intimacy. 

No matter what the reason, it cannot possibily be something that I find appealing in any way. I want a woman who’s sexually confident, not someone who’s going to want to keep the lights off. I want a woman who has some idea what she’s doing, I’m not interested in training her. I want someone who is sexually adventurous, not someone who will feel weird about dirty talk, swallowing, or public sex.

2. I want her to have been with other men. 

Not just for the experience factor which I’ve already mentioned. I don’t want our first time together to be such a big deal that I’m all of the sudden expected to get into a long term relationship with this girl just because we had sex once. 

On the flipside, I don’t want to be her first because if I do like her and want to have something long term with her, I don’t want her to feel like she hasn’t had enough experiences in her life and that she should go sleep with some more guys before settling down. Every girl at some point in their life fantasizes about being slutty (a fantasy that I have definitely benefitted from on multiple occasions). I want that out of her system.

I also want her to know what she’s giving up by being with me. I don’t want there to be doubt in her mind that I am the best there is. I want her to compare me to every other guy she’s ever been with, because I am confident that I can stack up against the best of them. Other than scumbag, when I hear that someone wants to deflower a virgin, the first thing I think is, “wow, this guys must know that he really sucks in bed because he clearly doesn’t want to be compared to other men.”

If you’re secure in your game and your ability, you should welcome the chance to leave such a strong impression on her that from then on you are the one that she is comparing everyone else to. You should leave her bedroom feeling sorry about the fact that you’ve permanently ruined sex for her because no one else will be able to stack up, and sorry for the other men who will try.

How Important is the Family?

This is as much a question as it is a post. 

Rian (from now on my girlfriend’s psudonym on this blog) to stop seeing me) is one of 10 siblings. Six of them are sets of twins, but that’s still a lot of kids. She is 10ish years younger than the next youngest (she is pretty sure she was an accident), and 20 or so years younger than the eldest. Both her mother and father have passed away, so her siblings are obviously very important to her.

I sort of got into a fight with my girlfriend’s sister today, and although I don’t really think I did anything wrong, she was definitely pissed off and said something to the effect of she’s going to strongly encourage Rian to stop seeing me. I haven’t met Lala (the sister’s pseudonym/nickname), in fact this argument occurred via text message (don’t ask). I’m pretty sure that I’ll be able to smooth things out with her if and when I do meet her, or even just talk to her on the phone (write now she won’t answer my calls), but for the sake of this post, let’s assume that I won’t be able to. If this sister just hates me from now on, how big a deal is it for me?

Lala is the second eldest sibling, so Rian sort of looks at her like a motherly figure in her life. Is it going to be an uphill battle against constant pressure to break up with me? If Lala gets the other 8 siblings on her side, what then? Am I totally fucked?